Just random stuff...

The vampire asked for blood, and although I know he was just doing his job, I was not excited.
Jessica needs a set of blood work done and she is NOT happy.(the kidney Dr. just wants to make sure that the meds are still working and that things are as they should be.)
 I had blood taken this morning and I'm not "really" happy.  However, I did convince my Dr. that I was not just complaining to hear myself talk.-- She ordered an ultrasound. Now, I begin the waiting to hear when the ultrasound will be [they just called and it's tomorrow in the morning, yahoooo!!!] and then if that technician be skilled and focused.  The Dr. finally asked about my mom's history of female issues and after I gave her the short version she was much more motivated to understand why I was complaining and concerned.
~~~~~~
The kids had a great first day back to school yesterday, but this morning they were acting like alley cats at the kitchen table... all while I was trying to get in the shower... grrrr... I don't mind them arguing-- but do they have to do it while I am getting in the shower--????
~
I am starting to get a cold, which is very frustrating, I have a final Christmas gathering on Saturday--
My husband is trying to figure out a good guy gift for $20.00-- usually the guys swap really cool tools--however--- my brother is not a tool sorta guy-- he's from California--  I suggested that Jerry get $20.00 worth of lottery tickets-- or $20.00 worth of pennies... 
 ~~~
My husband used my bread machine and a box of sweet bread mix--yummm
 I like it when my husband "cooks" for me., even if it's from a box~ it was still nice to eat!

It seems like everything is on hold right now, I hate waiting for things-- God sure likes to put lessons of patience in my life. I wonder  just when I'll get this lesson learned and we can move on to something else.?

Roller coasters and parenting

http://www.ehow.com/how_2330679_overcome-fear-roller-coasters.html

I am finding out that this parenting thing is alot like a roller-coaster ride-- at first glance it looks like fun, but then when you experience a bit more-- you develop a healthy respect for the emotions of fear/joy/ and thrills.
Because both of my kids have had challenges (Jessica medically-- and Shane sensory&behaviors)
 insert thought bubble here:  I aways thought  end thought bubble.
 that I should get a special pass-- either to the front of the line, or at least my own personal assistant.
Good thing reality knows how to pop these bubbles of mine!
If you click on the link at the top of the page and read though the instructions you might be surprised how much of the advise could be about parenting.
1. Remember the Physics-- (It took quite a while for you to "bake that baby"-- or even adopt and then you had to go through labor and also paperwork)
e=mc2 One of Einstein's great insights was to realize that matter and energy are really different forms of the same thing. Matter can be turned into energy, and energy into matter.

The energy we use as parents---

 shows up as the energy that

creates our children into (children that...) matter.!

2. Keep your Eyes open--  Pay attention to the little things, because all too soon those sweet things-- may change.
3. Pretend you are driving the roller-coaster!  Ha... ha ...  we may be the parent but realizing that parenting isn't about us as an individual is a key thing-- me thinks....:)
4. Start with the smaller coasters.  Uh, yeah.... I recommend prayer for this one-- pray that God, knows you well and that his sense of humor is not on overdrive.---  He won't give you more than you can handle, but he sometimes likes to fill your arms with WORK!
5. Just Do it... yup-- there aren't any short cuts to this parenting thing that I have found-- I have searched high and low, I have begged,pleaded -- I have read books, taken classes and even...spent much time in prayer.   We may not always get this parenting thing right-- but we have the ability to try again tomorrow.

So, anyway I had some challenges with my parenting attitude this weekend--
My kids were fighting -- which is not very normal for them--I asked them to STOP, I even used a loud voice and still they were fighting with each other-- finally in an act of desperation I got a small cup of cold water and --- I flung it on them. Jessica stopped the yelling/screeching  that she was doing and began to cry the ugly cry with her eyes getting larger with every tear. Shane stopped pummeling his sister and looked at me like ~ how dare you interrupt me?-- I was ahead of her-- in the game of ouch--.  I think they were both stunned to their cores-- I had never done something so shocking to them before.
But... it worked it got them to stop what they were doing and hear what I had to say. They both got time-outs and both had to apologize-- heck they even both grumbled that I was being mean and unfair-- I figured that there discontent with me .... was proof that I had done something right!.

Shane didn't do well at church-- our new curriculum has a ton of transitions and Shane went into overload mode -- he wouldn't listen-- focus or anything and the staff didn't call me to help -- so Shane was VERY distracting for the whole group of kids.  I didn't find this out until after church was over and I was picking him up.  I can and I want to be:  able to deal with my son-- but after the FACT... is not the best plan.  So, we came home from church and since Shane confessed in the car that he had made some bad choices with his body-- I had him write an apology letter.

A friend of mine that I have known since I was a teen passed away-- I am very sad-- we had re-connected on Face book-- but I had yet to really talk with her about how her life was-- and share with her how my life is.-- The only thing that about this that helps me manage my emotions-- is that she was a faithful follower of the Mormon religion. So, I know that she is in HIS arms.

There was also a death on my father's side of the family-- This Saturday I am going to that funeral at a Catholic church and although I want to go and share in the event-- I get so un-comfortable at catholic events-- I know I don't fit in and it makes me nervous.

Tomorrow we are going to celebrate Jerry and Shane's birthday's --
 at the park with a pinata, a silly string fight and cupcakes.-- I can't wait to see the pictures I will be taking!

And Life...goes on--- up and down and all around. Ya Got yer seat belt on? , ! Buckle UP!

By the way... God does have a sense of humor-- if you check out the video in my next post,  that is one of the worship songs that we sang while at church--  go ahead... call me Undignified!



I was gone for a few days, and now I'm forty!

So, this week has been busy- Jessica to PDX for her check-up, me to the podiatrist for the "map pins" out-- and released to drive, my 40th birthday on the 1st,Then 1st time with a physical therapist, helping out at the school with the kids, grocery shopping with the kids, tomorrow a birthday party, then church and maybe a BBQ at a lake.

Emotions have been running high lately.... the weather has been warm and I have been alot less patient-- I have also found it tough to actively ignore bad attitudes. My feelings were a bit hurt- and although I kinda knew that would happen-- I was still saddened by the selfishness of other people.

It was  VERY nice to be released to drive, but then when I talked with my PT, she explained that I need to step up my game-- and start using my foot "for real" I have been really reluctant to put my foot to use.  So, now I am trying to follow her instructions and do my exercises every night and every morning, I am also using ice on my foot to help the swelling dissipate.

I am learning that I may be able to drive, but spending all day wandering around on my foot --isn't the best idea.

I am so glad that school starts next week, the kids have been so energetic,talkative, and just FULL of motion-- this Mommy.... needs a break!

Jessica seems to be changing her way of interacting with me, and I'm curious if she is just testing the waters-- or if she is really changing into a mouthy soon to be 10 year old. I am not ready to have such challenges with Jessica... I've got my hands full with Shane...     I may have to call for renforcements!

New hair cut... and some other stuff

Shane... having some classic "boy,water play"

It has been really hot here-- and although my dear hubby installed the A/C unit-- I couldn't stand my hair and I had a good portion cut off!
I feel SOOOOOooooo much better-- My hair seems to have body and curl-- which is pretty darn amazing -- Usually I have flat thin hair...

Jessica got home from church camp on Friday, to find that her Betta fish Marina died... Shane was also angry that we had not done "anything" special for him while Jessica was at church camp. (We did have some really fun plans for him on Friday, but then Jerry had to work so that effectively ruined the plans for Shane.)

So, now we have two new Betta fish, one boy, one girl-- Jessica,Shane and I got our hair cut-- but Shane and Jessica's need some fixing.... I was in pain and not really able to go back and ask for the hairdresser to fix their hair-- so hopefully they will let me or one of my girlfriends fix their hair.

Tomorrow -- well.. Jerry is going to drive all of us to church ... and I am hoping that I will be able to handle being in the wheel chair --
On Monday we have two appointments, one for Jessica for her retainer, and one for me and my foot.... hopefully I will come home with a walking boot. Jerry says that even if I don't want to see-- he is going to take pictures of my gnarly foot.   

Jessica,Jerry and Shane did bury Marina-- they said some nice words and then put her in the "swimming pool "garden" .... with a marker.   I was resting from getting my hair cut so I stayed in bed with  my foot up. Jessica orginially wanted to creamate her fish in the oven... Jerry talked her into buring Marina, Thank Gosh!

I have learned that my husband and my daughter are great at helping when they want to --- but sometimes they are annoyed that I call for help...       I can't WAIT to be independent again...  I can do some stuff  on my own-- but the crutches wear me out and our house is simply too small and messy for the wheelchair. They aren't being terribly un-helpful-- but let's just say there is ALWAYS room for improvement! :) 

I am seriously considering going on an all liquid diet while I am still unable to walk-- and see how much, or if that will help me?

Garage Sale,Grocery Store Etiquette

Is there such a thing as Garage Sale Etiquette? http://www.drdaveanddee.com/etiquette.html

This is a picture out my front door-- apparently there is a block long garage sale-- happening today!
The street is not very wide so it has been kinda funny to see people and cars try to navigate the small space there is ...  It got me to thinking, if you weren't apart of the block long garage sale-- but you just happened to have stuff on your front yard-- how would people react? Would they just walk into your yard and start picking things up? And then how would you as the homeowner react? Would you run outside yelling and screaming?  What would happen if you were cleaning out the garage and yet people thought your stuff was  apart of the sale?

Garage Sales are such a fluid thing-- they often don't have an official, beginning middle and end.--
{Well at least that is my observation.}-- I would imagine that there are people-(not me)- who will start a sale at 8 am on the dot and stop that sale at 5pm.-- But I really think that doesn't happen very often. 
When you go to a garage sale do you discuss,out loud ~ what you like or don't like do you whisper to your neighbor-- "This price is too high?". 
So, many things about a garage sale are not clearly stated-- should I dicker/bicker about the price? Should I ask to try out the item? Should I even touch the item?

I would imagine that all these questions are much like the questions that plague our SPD kids -- and even our regular kids have -- navigating the "social world"!

I find myself doing a ton of pre-talking before we go somewhere-- lately I haven't been pre-talking too much-- I have a head cold and I am just trying to "get through" life. 

We went grocery shopping yesterday and I forgot to talk with the kids about how I wanted the groceries packed in the bags...  I had a moment of anger and frustration when Jessica was just putting items in...."willy nilly" Shane was just happy to keep pressing the button to move the conveyor belt -- he would take the  items off the belt and then press the button again.

I really think that if I had not been dealing with a head cold I would of managed the situation better-- .
I didn't yell or scream at the kids but I moved them both out of the way and finished the sacking of the groceries all by myself. Later after we were home, I thought about how I had just let a teach-able moment pass -- I could of done a MUCH better job of pre-talking and then showing what I wanted done.

I was annoyed that I let the moment pass-- I was also annoyed that I let others' who seemed to be SUPER impatient motivate me to just do it myself.  

Why do we have to be in a hurry to do everything?? Why can't we just slow down and breathe?
I wonder if these questions are the ones that prevent our SPD kiddos from responding quickly to a request?
Maybe if I slow down my expectations--
 maybe that will allow my children the time they NEED to comply with a request?
anyway.... just thinking... and wishing this head cold would STOP holding me back! .... geez I'm impatient! :)
haha ha

Another Day~

Well, yesterday wasn't the day I had expected.
The school didn't call -- yay! but when I went to pick up Shane-- I had to hear that he once again was kicking and aggressive with his IA.
At this point we are thinking that Shane is having an issue with his IA-- he seems to do well in other situations but when he is with the IA he gets aggressive and disrespectful. hummm.
We are also not giving Shane his allergy meds today-- just in case that is a part of the problem.
Last night Shane was not as willing to follow directions-- I had to go to the grocery store at 5pmish...to get milk- and to figure out dinner.
{The dinner I had planned fell thru...} Shane hates going to the grocery store, and going at 5pm... well that was even more difficult.
When we were at the store Shane refused to make up his mind about what he wanted for dinner-- I had suggested a few things before we went -- but he was just not willing to even hear me.
Finally, I told Shane that he would have either a bowl of soup or cereal for dinner. He still didn't seem responsive-- I decided that I was not going to let his issues annoy me further...
I drove to the Mc'd's drive thru and treated Jessica and my self to a fish filet meal. When we got home I told Jessica that she was not allowed to share. Dinner was a quiet event-- which helped to calm me.
I don't know if it was the right parenting "ploy" I have ever used-- but it was the only thing I could come up with.
{I have a little person on my shoulder telling me that I should not of even given Shane a choice-- but hind sight is always 20/20?}
Jerry showed up after dinner was done-- he was back from his guided fishing trip, empty handed. There were four guys-- two of them from Jerry's work-- who caught fish-- and then Jerry and his brother Rick.
Not the day I had expected ~ The sunshine was nice.
The kids don't have school tomorrow and it's grocery day-- but -- Jerry is off from work so maybe we can divide and conquer the things we have to do?

Just one of "those" days ~

Life is not always easy...nor is parenting-- :)

Just when you think you are knowledgeable about your kids, they either change their behaviors or-- your skills become obsolete!    Heck of a learning curb/curve if you ask me!

Today there was an Assembly at school, and Shane had a sub-- who is REALLY great with him-- she knows his regular teacher and so Shane doesn't have a chance to be a "pill" --- cause there are too many eyes on him... hehehehe! ahem 
 I was at the school to do some filing for Jessica's teacher, I overheard Shane with his IA, (Instructional Assistant) Shane was very adamant that he WOULD not be going to the Assembly, his IA was trying to convince him that he needed to try, -- I heard his tone of voice and I just knew that he was not going to be able to manage the Assembly.   I waited till they were past me in the hallway and then I tried to walk by them without Shane noticing--- I didn't want to be a distraction that ruined anything his IA had talked Shane into. (It doesn't feel good to avoid your child at school, but I knew that if he saw me the wrong time that might just set him up to make more negative comments.) 
Shane looked up just as I was walking by, he gave me a half-hearted hug and then went the other way with his IA... the look on his face was like he wasn't really there-- his eyes weren't there normal color and his smile didn't have the same brilliance.  It makes me sad to see my son with that look on his face, I think he doesn't even know that he's not connected to his body, and yet it's like he wants to ... just break-through the veil.
I went to the Assembly and watched the other kids get good behavior awards~
 (4 or 5 awards per each classroom),
I clapped and smiled, but there was that part of my heart that was torn-- Shane tries so hard ALL the time, and yet his behavior is not yet ....seen as typical-- he gets a TON of support in the classroom and he is doing relatively well academically-- {with the exception of handwriting}  but because he is not yet an expert at managing his SPD--he is still squirmy and wiggly...
Shane has been asking and asking to have a play-date with a few of the different boys at school-- I have been reluctant to say yes-- I know from experience how quickly Shane can meltdown and I know how his meltdown can have affects hours and sometimes days later.
 I finally overcame my terror, and we planned today...  to finally have the play-date.
I didn't want to leave Shane alone, but after talking with my neighbor-- who is a great sounding board, and talking with the Dad, about how to call if Shane starts to get twitchy... I finally decided that I needed to just let Shane do this. ---
Can I just say I was ...really ....really sweating this decision! 
It was so helpful that I could go back over to my neighbors' house and try to keep busy talking with her, all the while watching the clock tick by.... I think that might of been one of the longest hours... EVER!
Finally it was time to go get Shane, Jessica wanted to stay where she was so -- I went by myself, and even though it took about 40 minutes to leave-- between Shane taking off and on his shoes, finding his socks, getting a loaner toy to transition to, and me ... talking this poor father's ear off about how our family is "just different."  
 I am SURE that I said too much, but on the other hand, I would rather the Father possibly understand why we are like we... "are" -- than think that we are a bunch of wacko's! ...
 Hey, are we a bunch of wacko's...anyway? nah... I hope not!

I have been trying new recipe's for dinner this week, tonight the kids gave me the thumbs down...last night wasn't much better...    (Last night was breaded pork-chops that were soaked in OJ and then breaded-- along with some Parmesan couscous-- they liked the flavor of the couscous-- but the texture wasn't appealing)
 I was hoping to have a home run with one of the dinners-- ah, well at least I know my husband and I will have some happy taste-buds! This evening we had Maple-pecan  pork-chops--

I guess I have been cooking the bland food that the kids like so much that now they are not interested in food with new flavors!  grrrrr. ...

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the week, I hope that Jerry and I can keep the kids busy this weekend.  Jerry wants to take the kids bowling.... I hope this is a good idea!

time on my knees...

I haven't been blogging much this week-- it's our local county fair...week ~
Fair week brings back bad memories-- Jessica got e coli from a simple trip to the fair.
It makes me sad that I am un-able to see the fair as a GREAT place to be., I find myself yelling sarcastically at the TV, when the news people are at the fair, talking about all the "fun stuff" to do~
I have often thought about going down and walking on the sidewalk with a sign... but then I think what purpose would I serve? maybe I'd be on TV again... but I can't imagine that people would listen any better than they have in the past...
I know that some people are more likely to get e coli.... and Jessica just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and yet I want an apology-- I want compensation....
But I also know that -- none of what I want... is what God has planned, and so I find myself praying and waiting --
It's not really bad... all this emotion and upheaval... but I am not sure how to move on-- when I see a constant reminder on Jessica's neck (she has scars from her main line...)
I worry that the H1N1 virus will be detrimental for our family, I hope that I can get her the vaccine--
I'm thinking that maybe I just need to do some (more) time on my knees....
If you want to read the whole story about Jessica and her last trip to the fair-- click on one of the labels below... and get your kleenex.

Expectations not met

So, last night the weather outside, thunder,lightning,wind and rain seemed to reflect how I was feeling emotionally---
I thought that I was doing a good helpful thing, I had a friend Bethany create two social stories for me/and Shane-- It took her such a short time, and yet -- everyone who read the story thought it was simply marvelous!
I went to the school to see if they would laminate and bind it... I was also willing to even let them keep it to use -- for the whole school--
The secretary said that the school was out of materials to laminate and bind it... the counselor suggested that I go to Office Max... at Office Max they said a teacher would get a better deal....
and so I thought... that I should give the [evil] teacher the benefit of the doubt and ask her if she could make it into a book...
So, I went to pick Shane up and I shared the book's with her... she said that "yes.." she thought she could get it made into a book...(that's what she gets for thinking...)
She ended up taking the book back the secretary and then this poor secretary had to give it back to me... GEEZ --- (and then there was concern.... that because the subject of the book was Curious George -and there were illustrations used.. - the school would have to worry about copy write fees... -- ) This book was only going to be used in school -- and it would not be for public use.

Then, later I find out that I have to PAY $9.75 to get in to the ZOO.... -- apparently there are too many chaperons... (It is about an 2 hour drive one way...)
I had to beg and call a special meeting just so that Shane could go on this field trip... and now I have to PAY? I have to drive him,stick by him,pay for parking,pay for my entrance into the Zoo... and Why? because this teacher or the school --- won't.
Shane is being looked at for Autism, they are attempting to get him an IEP and so he is covered by IDEA technically.... the school should be paying for me to go, and also my gas and time....

I guess I am a bit, bitter and annoyed... this school and the teacher are just not meeting even my minimal expectations.

Frog humor and todays stuff...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger,

his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral..

The frog says, "Sure. I have this,"

and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,

about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed..

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(you're gonna love this) (its a real treat) (a masterpiece) (wait for it)

The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack.. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........) Never take life too seriously!

Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!! Have a lovely day

Later today my stepson's(Brandon) girlfriend(Sorccia)(like porshe only with an S) is supposed to have her baby--- I guess that will mean that I am a step-grandma !

Shane came home early from school today :(

however, I did have a great meeting with the principal and the school psycholgist --

When we went to pick Shane up from the school, I got Shane to put his shoes on and then Jerry took him to the truck-- which worked out well-- that way I could hear what happened first, and then talk about what Shane's behavior was like after... he wasn't combative or voilent-- but he did say he had a plan to escape back to the classroom! He also tried to pull down pictures that were on the wall-- and for a moment or two he had his hand in a fist -- as if he was going to hit the principal. Never a dull moment --- !

It's raining.... wah... wah ... wah...

rain rain go away.... don't come again another day!

Edited to say....

I found out what was up with Shane... his pants were too tight and the button that was holding the elastic was poking him! I had him change and then later he took a bath and now I have my kiddo back to ...his normal!

Went to a meeting... and ~

Well, we had the meeting to discuss if Shane should receive an IEP for--- Autism!
I don't believe he has Autism, however... he does have sensory issues-- enough that the Developmental Pediatrician says he has Sensory Processing Disorder--
but at this point -
I will be happy to have an IEP with a classification for Autism -- just to get services for Shane.
I behaved myself during the meeting, even though I wanted to cause a huge disruption-- It seemed that every time they let the teacher talk-- she got more and more animated and dramatic about Shane.
I asked if they would..."let" him eat lunch or have recess-- or even library so that he can re-learn how to do these things... --- My advocate asked also for Shane to have lunch at school and today the teacher called to say Yes, Shane can have lunch at school -- but he must behave himself and he must also bring his lunch so that he doesn't have to make any choices and stand in a long line. I am very happy at this small concession-- but very angry that the school (or teacher) is controlling all the details. I know that if I really wanted to I could get lawyer and really rock the boat-- but I don't figure that would be the best course of action.

I just want my son to be in school and be included...

what happened to the least restrictive enviroment?

There were a lot of professionals at this meeting and I happened to know all but one-- so that -- was helpful--
I would love for prayers of patience and skill in holding my tongue --

Why does this have to be such a fight?
Why does the teacher constantly attempt to undermine me as a parent?
Why?
More testing results from the school, show that Shane is already at the benchmark -- for the end of school-- so even though the school considers him a behavior problem-- he is smart!
I do hope that he is able to get TAG [talented and gifted] services next year~

Mushy brains?

Yup, I think my brains have turned to mush~
Between the Classic Oregon Spring Weather-- sun,rain,clouds,cold,wind,sun,rain--- etc.
And things that are beyond my control -- I find myself happy and yet still frustrated with Life.
*my daughter (7 years old) finally figured out how to run her own bath-- (I found out why she wouldn't-- the water was too loud for her! -- I told her she could be in charge of how fast and loud the water was--- and that seemed to completely solve the issue! Yahoo...)
*My dear husband is gone fishin' --- he is searching for the elusive sturgeon that is just the right size. (I don't mind the fishing, but does he have to be gone the WHOLE day?? and when do I get a day without the kids?)
*A person from my past is back -- and although I want to be supportive and helpful-- her life is such a train wreck.-- She asked me to write a letter -- praising her parenting skills-- I can't do that and feel like I didn't lie-- and yet I don't have the guts to tell her that. (This is a friendship that might need to become an acquaintanceship..)
*The school wants to have yet another meeting about getting Shane more help-- via an IEP--- but there was mention of Autism, and/or emotionally disturbed child.
(In my opinion-- neither of these..."labels" fit Shane) [I DO HATE LABELS....]
It's nice that the school is finally aware that Shane needs some "more" support-- but they only see him at school -- in a classroom that is disorganized and noisy-- not in an space where he seems to do fine. [home and church]
And yet though all of Shane's behaviors' he is at the top of his class academically!
* I want to do some major cleaning in the house, but -- I need to get a sitter for the kids so that I can really focus and get things done! Getting a sitter that can manage Shane, will be a challenge.
* My cousin, Elizabeth is super cool -- and she and I are bartering-- I need a Pampered Chef can opener and she needs some Pj's for her son --so we will swap one for another---
ah, The Joy of getting what I want!
I was happy that Megan Joy is gone from American Idol-- her attitude just got on my nerves,plus I think that she really needs to be with her child.(This is not criticism -- just my opinion)
This Sunday is Palm Sunday, and I have many who I will be praying for,Bethany, Christopher and his mother-- and some in my family.
Ah, well I must run and get Shane from school---
edited to add .... Now I hear from the teacher that the date for the meeting will be changing-- too bad they can't bother to keep me in the loop!
Tomorrow, I also have an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician -- I am going to bring the Direction Services person with me so that I can have another set of ears.-- The last time I spoke about what the Developmental Pediatrician had to say-- during a meeting-- it wasn't received with much respect. (At least that is my view...)
And we also planned a meeting with Shane and the Developmental Pediatrician so that she can see how Shane is now...
Oh, Lord, I need some positive imput...

I'm working on my bridge!

*see below to find out about this bridge~*

blogger is playing with me --and not as nicely as it should!

I created a post and then I thought I published it -(it said I did)

- but blogger didn't follow through! Geez...

There is also a note again today that there will be a scheduled outage at 4pm PST today!

Go figure!

This Friday is a meeting with the school and the PH.D --- to re-create the Behavior Support Plan... any and all prayers would be wonderful..---

This week Shane has had two tough days...and so has his mom...(he has had to come home early -- because he couldn't complete his time out according to the school)

This morning when I dropped him off one of his classmates said to the adult she was with, "Oh,that's Shane he doesn't act like a regular kinder kid"

I didn't even respond-- I was stunned into silence.

Then -- I stopped by in the lunchroom to see what Jessica would be eating and I ran into a lady I met this summer, she knows the kids and I~ she asked if she would see Shane in the lunchroom --I had to explain that he doesn't get to eat lunch with his class.

I'm sad about both of these interactions-- not just as Shane's Mother-- but as a person who tries to see the good in everyone.

I have a sweet, sweet, child who is very smart--- he just has a tough time transitioning.

***To borrow an anaology from Barbara over at Therextras --- thanks for letting me?

I am going to be working on this bridge--

to see if I can get from my side(where extra consideration for others is KEY)

to the"other side" and then show the people on the other side -

-(people who just don't get me, and mine)

how to join my ...on "my side" of the bridge!

By the way... American Idol has been intresting I missed a little bit -- because I was watching our new president and his wife dance. But last night I heard a few people that were good!

I'm taking comments and suggestions-

It's cold here where we are--so, I went out to the car and scraped the ice off the window this morning.
I even let the car warm up in the driveway before I took the kids to school.Then when I got home from dropping the kids off, I sat and watched/listened to Good Morning America. I happened to look out my front window--I noticed two squirrels that were chasing each other-- I wanted to take a mini video of them-- but my camera batteries were low.

What do you do when~

• your child's teacher is not doing her best(she lost all of the book orders and monies that parents sent in)(homework doesn't come home on a consistent schedule){she never seems prepared for the day--in the morning or even by the time I go to pick Shane up-- she still seems unorganized}
  
• she is choosing to make comments that are not helpful, and are truly negative{Oh, we just ignore him, he does that just for attention}
  
• you know your son is taking advantage of the school and staff by only achieving minimum levels of behavior

Although he is doing well academically-- his lack of good,consistent behavior is being given a pass.
With each interaction with the school I am being reminded to be supportive of the school and the teacher, to say things to Shane that will keep his interest positive in school-- I just wish that I could know that the teacher is saying the same type of things to Shane and the other students.
I don't really think that is the case, it doesn't seem as though the teacher has made any attempts to understand Sensory Processing Disorder, and is only focusing on the behavior she sees at the moment.

It doesn't sound like the school would like Shane to switch teachers, and I do understand that point of view, however-- I really feel like Shane would become a much better student, and a steward of his behavior-- if he was in the other classroom where there is an atmosphere of clear rules and expectations.

In short I feel like I am one of the squirrels--
running around and around trying to get the nut,
or get the other squirrel but -- not having any luck!

Do any of you have any suggestions for me-- ?
Should I meet with the principal and simply request that we switch teachers, or should I just continue on biting my tongue and letting things go--

I don't want apologies from the teacher, because at this point the damage has already been done and I don't think the teacher is invested in changing how she perceives Shane.

The principal said in a recent email to me:
I have looked at Shane's reading scores (moving forward) and his attendance weekly (looks great), and his behavior card (not meting at 80%, but having good days). We reviewed his behavior support plan at our last IPBS meeting last Thursday, and agreed that the plan is working, but may need some tweaking, and I will monitor the report weekly. Overall, he is progressing in our kinder program. I have observed him twice, and have had our U of O behavior student observe him twice, and he is on-task most of the time, with the problem behaviors declining (spinning, wandering, tantrums, etc). The teacher is working hard to be consistent with our behavior recommendations and academic support, and I think she is doing a great job. Shane has difficult issues and it will take a long time to have him correct those. It will be helpful to be patient and know that he really is making progress on all the data points we have, and look a the overall picture, and not just "good or bad days".

I know that Shane will have good and bad days, but I also know that he will learn without much guidance from anyone-- he has already shown me that. I am just annoyed that the teachers' behaviors or reactions to Shane are not being addressed.-- It seems to be all about motivating Shane and getting Shane on task.
Why aren't the teacher's behaviors' (or lack of ) apart of (a) the behavior plan also?

Am I simply, expecting too much from public school?
I do want comments and input --- I think I need to see this from more points of view than my own.

Tough Times

It has been a long,emotional week for Shane and I
I finally got to have the parent- teacher conference with Shane's teacher.
I know that my son is a difficult child, but I also know that he is smart and sweet and funny~
It never fails to AMAZE me, that parent- teacher conversations are mainly about the negative~
It hurts my heart that I cannot change my son's behavior when he is at school, it also frustrates me -- that his behavior at home seems to be getting worse.
It even hurts to hear my son complain at night while in bed
" that his life is just not good -- and I never get to have 15 stars or smiley faces everyday-- "

{he is currently attempting to get
a smiley face every day and also
15 stars for
"good appropriate behavior"}

His teacher and I decided that Shane might do better, as would the class if he was only in the classroom for an hour and a half each day---

And while I think this is a good thing for the class--
it has been so very hard for Shane and I --

I have spent time on the phone with many people, trying to get help
in -- how Shane is perceived --
Next Friday, is the meeting for the 504 plan-- and although I think that will be a GREAT thing,
I am still scared-- that the plan will be created-- but that the plan will not be enough---

I am tired of asking again and again for help, and being told that we-- Shane and I need to see a counselor-- and also that because Shane is achieving a normal or better level in academics that he really doesn't NEED -- help.
In short--His behaviors, just need to change. I agree that his behaviors need to change-- but I don't know how much more communication I can provide.

Just plain fustrated!

A while back I checked a book out at the library, called
Oxymoronica, by Dr. Mardy Grothe
These are some quotes that I found worth sharing :

Ellen Goodman ~We want our children to fit in and to stand out. We rarely address the conflict between these two goals.

Elbert Hubbard~ The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without his teacher.

Annie Shaw~Fond as we are of loved ones, there comes a times during these absence an unexplained peace.

Tacitus, in Annuals~ To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one maybe have deserved it.

So, today-- I took the kids to school--- Shane is still not feeling good so--
we were late and Shane was being a pill---not to mention coughing and coughing-- even after I gave him some over the counter medicine-- which didn't work-- but I was willing to try ANYTHING-- that might help~
But-- I had been asked to help out with a project in the class and so I stayed to help.
I appreciate that there are 25 kids in this classroom and that seems to be a huge issue.
Then~
Why not be prepared to do the project,before sharing it with the kids?
Why not make a tutorial like they do on TV(heck I have even seen some cute ones on blogs)
There never seemed to be a beginning middle or an end.---
I was paying attention and I didn't understand what we were doing -- or why ?????
Wouldn't the why we are doing the project --be something we should know ?
Shouldn't we explain the how in steps?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really wanted to post a positive message this morning--
I had High Hopes-- but I have to be honest and say I am just plain frustrated!

Learning more and more

**Edited-- I fixed the link for the Therapressure protocol, but I have no clue why the other link won't work, my apologies! ***


I am learning new things... and oh, the things I am learning!

I am learning that I thrive on positive information-- I am willing and interested to learn things I might need to work on but--the positive information FIRST is BEST!

I am learning that I am not...NUTS! --- I may be a little impatient with the public school system-- but that does not mean that I need my head examined at this moment in time!

I am learning Therapressure protocol at www.childsplayot.com
is very interesting--

I am learning that www.thesprialfoundation.org
is a great place to see most of Shane's issues listed!

I also learned that when your monitor dies-- as mine recently did--
if you go to the Goodwill and happen to find a VERY helpful teen -
- you can in FACT--- purchase a monitor for only $7.50 ! YAhoooo!!

I also learned that when sewing---
if you are using a multi-size pattern that you don't want to cut--
you can instead put paper towels under the pattern
and then mark with a marking pen-- that will mark the pattern for you on the paper towel--!

Did you VOTE yet?
I did, but sadly I think that my vote and my husbands' vote cancel each other out!

Odds and Ends

Shane is home with me today-- he had a tough day at school-- or so the teacher says--
So, I guess I am taking the easy way out and letting him stay home today,I do however have some school things planned for him to do--

I need to get my prayers updated and over sized for Shane---
That will be my work for today, and the laundry,dishes and cleaning!
Ah, the Joy's of parenting!

My sister-in-law Sara,who lives in California, has created a blog for her son Miles-- Miles Roderick .
Miles is a very funny,smart and handsome child-
- I love it when his mom,Sara creates video's and pictures to share !

Get the kleenex-- a post about the past~

Each year at this time of year, there are a few local events that make my heart ache--

• The Lane County Fair(This year the same weekend as our camping trip)
  
• The Harris Family Reunion
• The Moore Family Reunion and camping trip(next weekend we are off to Reedsport)
  

Our family just got finished with the Harris Family Reunion, and although it was so nice to see everyone~ there was some moments that just made the world stop turning for a while.
{Quite a few of the family asked about Jessica's health and her future-- Although were apart of the lawsuit against the Fair --- we received ZERO monies,Zero apologies, and Jessica currently has to take blood pressure medication every day to keep her kidneys working at a normal rate.}
Back in August of 2002, I was about 8 months pregnant with Shane--
I wanted to walk around ~ I was just... a little hot and cranky~
the Lane County Fair was going on, after much complaining and cajoling
I convinced my dear hubby to take us (Jessica,Jerry and I) to the fair--
Since Jessica had already been though enough medical stuff
-(being a premiee,born at 33 1/3 weeks at only 3 pounds 4 ounces)
- we planned ahead not to touch any animals and to only eat from vendors that we had seen in years past. We also thought that by keeping her in the stroller we would be keeping her safe -- she had only just figured out how to walk and we were afraid that she might get squished in the crowds of people. When we ate, we went in the bathroom and washed our hands and then came back and baby wiped them-- thinking that we were being clean and safe.We saw the tables and chairs that were set out and decided that sitting in a grassy area was a better plan.

We found out later that our choices-- may or may not of been helpful at all.
Herein, lies guilt~

About a week after the Fair, we were at a funeral for my husbands cousin- who passed away after a battle with cancer-- she left 2 kids and a husband behind-- I can't remember her age- but it was just too soon for this event to happen, too soon. While we were trying to share our loss with the Harris Family, Jessica's lack of spirit and energy was fading fast. She had not had anything to eat, and wasn't really even interested in drinking juice.We had made an appointment to see our pediatrician at 4pmish-- I left Jerry with his family and I took Jessica to see our pediatrician.
Our visit seemed to be the longest ever-- Our Dr. looked Jessica over and asked questions-- where had we been recently, what had we been doing--
I didn't know where all the questions were leading -- just that I didn't like the look on our Dr's face. Our Dr. wanted to give Jessica some Pedalite to see if she could keep that down-- the next thing I know she was projectile puking-- (pardon the description) Our Dr. went and got another pediatrician for a consult -- the look on his face wasn't helpful-- his eyes never really met mine-- and I don't think he even said a word out loud-- he just looked at our Dr. and nodded. Once again our Dr. left the room-- I was in-limbo, my daughter had such a cloud of sickness of her and I was just embarrassed about her puking in the office~ shock and dismay seemed to be the only feelings I can remember.
I don't know how much time had passed -- but I know that the office got very quiet and it seemed as though I was the only patient left.
Our Dr. came in and explained that she thought, along with the other Dr. that Jessica was part of a group of kids that were VERY sick-- she was very sad to say that she thought the sickness was,
E coli. -- She asked if I wanted to go home with Jessica and see if I could nurse her back to health--- She explained that I would have to watch Jessica very closely -- I stopped to ask, just how bad can this get? I don't remember the words that she said, just that the end result could be death. I told her that I was very nervous-- How could I take Jessica home and help her~ if she couldn't even keep the Pedalite down? Our Dr. then said, well Jessica is very dehydrated-- let's go ahead and admit her to the hospital and see if they can help her-- .
She left to make the necessary calls and I called Jerry--- who was still with his family-- Through my tears, I explained that I needed him NOW to come and drive Jessica and I to the hospital. (There was no way I was going to be a safe driver with my daughter sick in the back seat.)
When we got to the hospital, we were fast-tracked to the PICU-- On our way in the double doors,
I saw another Mom that I knew, (she was a customer of mine while I worked at Dari Mart)
the tears welled up in my eyes and I just reached out for a hug-- I asked why are you here, and she said, my son Hunter is sick-- we think he got sick with E coli.

As, I type this -- my face is blotchy and red, I think I have emptied all my tear ducks--- So, I am going to pause --

I hope that by reading this,
people will be aware that E Coli is a terrible thing
-- and that hand washing is VERY important--
but that there are MANY other things that can help...to prevent E coli.

• keep the animals and the food vendors separate
• test the animals prior to the fair (Yes, most cud-chewing animals have E coli present, but this test is for E coli serotype O157:H7 which is what affects humans)
• Have the animals a week or two after the Fair-- not at the same time
  
• Know that E coli can be airborne
• Know that even if you are very cautious, the amount of E coli needed to get sick is very small-- our Dr's said that Jessica might of only ingested the amount the size of a dime.
• E coli affects the very old and very young-- mainly the fragile.

Please, as we enjoy the Summer-- be cautious of Fairs.

huh?

I want to read a post of my own;
that I think is funny-- and have it go world wide...

ah, the Joy?!

too bad I can't think of anything funny...
hummm- I should spend some...(more..more...more?!) time with my kids and family--
maybe that will help me find the ...fun?
note to self : (humor needed-- maybe I'll put an ad on Craigslist?!)
I just wish that when people, the few of you that you are---(Thanks!)
came to visit they would have the experience of a relaxing,cool breeze
(or spiting your coffee out through your nose!) and leave thinking,
ah-- I will be back (again and again--) to gain little nuggets of knowledge from this blog--
(or at the very least I will visit here time and again just so that I can annoy the Author...)

Really-- feel free to annoy me... but WARNING my kids are better at it than you!

(I only say annoy in the sweetest way-- no rude or un-called for comments please-)
-{ save your anger for the the people who create the TOO HIGH GAS prices! }