Our version of Normal...

So, Shane, Jessica and I went to visit the developmental pediatrician today--

Shane and Jessica LOVE going there-- the Dr. has great toys... :) and she never pokes you for shots!  

This toy was magnetic ... and Shane created this-- he said it was his version of a church and then when it was time to leave and break it down, he said "I'm the devil and I'm breaking down the church"

I'd say those were pretty profound words for a 1st grader!

This visit was just a check-up visit... we talked about how Shane is doing at school and at home ... I even had the Dr. look at the rash on Shane's chest... and back-- she felt that it was a contact rash...

maybe the dog irritated Shane's skin... or maybe it was the laundry soap--  It hasn't gotten any worse and there are no new symptoms to report -- so we are taking a wait and see attitude about it.

The Dr asked  how things were going and I explained that things were mostly fine... she was very happy to hear that Shane seems to be learning how to self-manage his behaviors.

We talked about taking Shane off of his medication during the summer to see how he does--

Both Jerry and I have not been eager to have Shane on meds,

{Risperdol}

(although they have helped)  

so hearing that this summer would be a test run without meds-- sounds fine to me.

(feel free to remind me that I said this during the summer... :) )

The Dr and I talked about the things that I use to help Shane when we have to wait in line,

 or during transition's...

1. pipe cleaners...different colors,different sizes
2. sugarless gum or Tic Tac's
3. window clings
4. tinfoil.... (this is a new suggestion from,my FB friend Nicole!thanks!)
5. handheld games.. we have a math one from our book fair.

So, anyway it was nice to visit a Dr, have a good visit and then leave feeling like,

Shane is just his version of normal! 

Simple, and yet priceless Joy!

I am learning that our family is not perfect, 

 no ...really we aren't PERFECT! huh...? who would of thunk it? :)

 my personal Dr. wants me to loose weight, by making two lifestyle changes, I need to be more motivated to follow through with exercising and cutting back on portions. I am hoping that the Spring weather will help me stay focused on getting healthy.  Often when the kids are arguing I tell them to be kind to each other-- I tell the kids that we only have one Jessica and or one Shane-- we need to treat her with love and kindness--I think I might need to ask the kids to say this to me... Mommy needs praise and encouragement also!  

I hope that I can get the tape in my head changed to a postitive message...

 It's not the first step that is the hardest but it's the steps in the middle -- when the end is not yet in sight.

But, even as I type this I think that maybe it's not a race or an event,

it's a whole new way of looking at things-

It's funny to me how things with the kids aften mirror things with myself...

 I want the public to see my son as his version of normal and I want the public to understand that he is still learning to be skilled at self managing his behaviors.

Now, I need to apply that thinking to myself, and getting healthy, I need to NOT expect perfection-- I need to just stay motivated and focused on the task--

The small steps I take will keep me on a path to a better me...

See, don't I sound positive and focused? ...

I am sure I will make mistakes... but isn't that what life is all about ?

Learning how to learn life lessons the FIRST time?

So, if you are willing? 

 I would love to hear your input...

postive is good, but honesty-with love is also welcome!

Parent Teacher conferences

I just want to take this post to brag about my kids,

Shane

• his reading fluency is at 98%
• his oral reading fluency is at 99%
• his math skills are in the 66th%

The teacher and the school counselor both were very pleased with all of Shane's progress-- They were both happy to report that although Shane still has his twitchy & twirly moments, he is getting better at being polite and asking for a break, or at least taking a break when suggested!

The teacher made sure to comment that since his reading scores are SO high that all we need to do is use his great reading skills to improve some of his other skills that are a bit behind.Writing is not something he enjoys, but that seems to be coming along.

Jessica~

• her reading scores exceed the standard 150 words per minute! (93%)
• her vocabulary is at 72%
• her comprehension 52%
• her spelling-- better than her Daddy...:) 13/14 !
• math needs a bit of help from Daddy-- cause mom doesn't do well with math!

Once again the teacher was happy to report that Jessica is a sweet, well mannered child and that her reading will help her with the few things that are a bit behind.

I feel SO BLESSED, I could not be prouder of my kids, and the school -- this year is going great and the staff is really focused on getting the kids to be well-rounded in their skills.

Aw, simple Joy!

I kept giving complements to the teachers and staff about how nice it was to go and hear GREAT things about my kids... even the few things that the kids are a bit behind were not talked about in a negative way, they were talked about as something to work on but, very achievable! Gosh, I love hearing about things in a positive way!

I still feel a bit sick, but between the Theraflu caplets and the large quantities of tea,and fruits-- I seem to be somewhat normal!

This Monday was GOOD!

~ I started my day worried that Shane wouldn't have a good day

and I was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a guest teacher when I dropped him off, and Shane was annoyed that he didn't get to play for a few minutes with his bike and rider while we waited for the classroom to be open... Because this guest teacher had the room open and ready for the kids to come in! I took a few moments and talked with her about the new correction plan that we have in place-- she had already read it and was on-board and willing to use it. She took my phone # down just in case--

The phone never rang! Hallelujah!

When I got to the school to pick up Shane, he was a part of the class running across the playground to "ditch" his lunch and then he got to play at recess for with the other kinders!
While he was playing I got to touch base with Bruce, our professional Behaviorist(this is just my title for Bruce)-- and also the guest teacher -- Both had very positive things to say about Shane and -- also suggestions for me... about Shane hugging other's--
In the past the teacher has said that Shane is only allowed to hug teacher and not the students... because he can sometimes turn a hug into a tackle... (it sounds like the teacher isn't fond of enthusiasm!)
Bruce, suggested that the other students should be taught to say, STOP and hold up a hand if they do not want a hug-- and if Shane still tries to hug~ then they can say I need bubble space~
I LOVE this idea! I can use this at home, at school -- wherever and it doesn't sound like a correction but like a re-direct!
I also got a complement from a staff person -- she was so happy to finally connect me with Shane-- she was happy to mention that Shane has come a long way-- and that she can't wait to see how much better his behavior can get! She had a child herself with issues similar to Shane and so she really understood that he has great things underneath his behaviors!
Ah, the Joy.... the simple pure joy !

Late night thoughts....

I was channel surfing late last night, and since we only have 16 channels (4 of the OPB happen to be duplicates) I ended up at the last moments of America's Next Top Model-- they showed the final picture of the girl..."uh--woman" to be let go --and they removed her picture from the group photo--

It got me to thinking... about the blogs I visit

and the people I feel "I know" through blogging---

Wouldn't it be fun, to take one picture of yourself --- say in front of a fence, and then send it to another friend who would take a picture of themselves and photo shop themselves in the picture and then send the picture on--- It would be like a chain letter picture !
At the end it would be a group picture of bloggers from around the country that have formed friendships-- and yet have yet to meet in "real life"
That way -- I could say that I have a picture of me with my bloggy friends !
(that I have made via blogs and comments!)
or we could even have pictures of our kids having a play date...via our blogs...
Is this possible?? .... what do you think...
I would love to have pictures like this on my blog~ and even a picture to carry around with me-- that way when I talk about you to my "real life" friends--and they didn't have Internet they could still see what you look like and how friendly you seem.

We could use the picture on a card-- and send the card to friends that need some praise and prayers... the inside of the card would have all of our blog addresses and short uplifting comments ... that way not only would the person have a "snail mail" card but they could also go online to the different blogs and see the prayers that are being requested~

Wouldn't that be nice to have a card that shows where all of the prayers might be coming from?

So, anyway.... I was just thinking!

Details = Get 'er done?

This meeting was informative --- and detailed !
We all worked with the Shane's schedule to tweak it so it will work effectively for Shane and also the classroom.

• take tangible rewards away and instead use positive specific praise--- I totally agree with this --- I was really getting overwhelmed with the "stuff " that Shane wanted to "get" ---
• My goal is to have Shane understand that his behavior affects-other's and his job is to be appropriate and thus-- he would get positive feedback.!!!!!!
• They are going to try to make the time in the sensory area a regular thing
• At the very end of the meeting we talked about time-outs-It was suggested that two things at home (battleship game and music) (I do agree with this) would be taken away if he hits while at school,and then has to come home.
• As a part of the red card Shane would be reminded that if he continues to make a bad choice, then there are consequences.
• I really think that Shane will gain more, by pre-talking about appropriate behavior -- as opposed to adding another consequence at home for a behavior that is mainly happening at school. (The school counsler wanted me to impose another task at home--for Shane not completing a time out)

I am struggling with how to communicate effectively with the teacher ~often when we talk she wants to be super detailed about what he did to who and when---which I perceive as negative input and she always wants to talk about he did it for no reason.... AGH!...

It feels like she wants to blame me for all of Shane's bad behavior and she wants to take credit for all his good. Geez... I don't need or want to argue and have a power struggle with the teacher, my one and only goal is to get Shane back on track to succesfull appropriate behavior. Preferably with no hitting or hurting and with much more positive interactions.

I know that Shane is not behaving,and in fact he is at times combative and violent, but I also know that this is mainly happening at school, not very much at home--

I cannot control his behavior at school. I can and I will continue to talk about what is appropriate, but only Shane is in control of his body.

How I wish this First Steps would of started at the beginning of school, so that we wouldn't be where we are now... (At the beginning of school I wrote up a letter that had alot of how best to deal with Shane ideas, and most of them are very close to what First Steps looks like--- bummer it took 6 months and all this staff and resources to get 'er done!)

I hate to worry about the future, but I am nervous that the teacher may not be as clear with her directions with Shane and that will cause a decrease in his good behaviors.

Some of the phrases at home that seem to be working are: Show me calm and still, show me listening--- Shane you have two ears and one mouth--- he needs to use his ears more, and then use appropriate words when he is frustrated and upset.

Thanks for listening to be whine and complain!

I know that Shane is a good sweet kid underneath all the stuff..!

I also found out that the kids don't have school tomorrow and they are also off on Monday---

AAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKK --- I will have to make up some stuff to do...

humm...

time to find the homeschool stuff, maybe I'll make a game out of picking up their rooms...

Or maybe, I just take them outside and chase them around the trees!

Shane has been so very sweet while at home today, he even shared two cookies with me!

He seems to be sweeter and more willing to ask for help, he also seems to be listening more, I think it might be the medication? ah, well whatever it is I plan on keeping this new sweeter boy on that same path!

Now that was a meeting!

I am soooooo very happy
and grateful,thankful, impressed,hopeful,impatient,and ecstatic!
{hmmm,have I laid the praise on a little thick?--nah-- I don't think so}

note to self: When you can't get what you need -- keep asking for help,keep telling people about what you need... focus your positive energy on the task at hand!

Cindy Anderson,the professional Ph.d, I have mentioned before
is simply amazing... "cue the music--We Shall Overcome"
not only did she come to the meeting prepared to lead it -- and lead it she did--
but she also made suggestions that seem to be simply perfect.
She made suggestions in such a way that the people involved didn't feel like ---
their plan was being shredded to pieces! Although-- it was --- so sorry a BAD plan!

It was nice to sit at the table and have my point of view--seen and heard as valid and important-

I still think that the proof will be in the pudding-- ahem...
I am praying that the staff that will be implementing the First Steps to Success
[sorry about the redundant use of success-- but I am thinking positive things only!]
have success with teaching the teacher and -- also showing Shane how best to behave!

Cindy also has some plans and suggestions for at home... she was so sweet to ask if I would like input and suggestions--- I said, "Yes,please--"

We are still using the meds for Shane,but now they will be given in the morning-- so that-- hopefully his behaviors will improve at school and ... also at home!

I felt respected for my comments, apart of the process, and also that the teacher and the principal would do...their best to implement the things that Cindy put on the table.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHoooooooooooooo!
I used to think that people who had PH.d's were smart, but not super relate-able-- I have so say...I was wrong... PH.d's are wonderfully down to earth --
From my ...ahem ...experiences today I would say they....ROCK!

A poem to be thankful for

Today, my husband picked up Shane from school-- and after hearing that Shane had a good day-- the teacher gave this poem to Jerry--
When Jerry asked Shane if he wrote it --
Shane said "No, I didn't write it -- the teacher wrote the words I said"
This poem brought tears to our eyes--
For this small thing his father and I are Thankful for!
(We dearly love and are Thankful for Jessica,
but this poem from Shane is -- not his normal way to communicate!)

Oh, the Joy's!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fall Leaves

I love riding my bike in the
leaves
making pretend recipes
with the leaves on the ground
wet, shiny
yellow-first they are
green then go to yellow
I really love fall
sometimes I like to rake the
leaves with my Dad
Shane Harris, 6 years old

November,2008

Two wheels,no training wheels!

I decorated a bulletin board at school with some vintage food carriers.

Shane thought that putting a quarter on his chin, while waiting for our Therapy appointment -- deserved a photo!

Jessica had her Daddy take off the training wheels on her "big bike" and this is what happened!
There will be NO sound, since this video is from my camera-- that doesn't have sound.


Jessica and her whole family are VERY excited...

Did I really--- buy This?

Have you ever gone to the grocery store
and come home with things that
you don't remember putting in your cart?

Oh, my gosh... I did that this weekend---
{I came home with some Keebler Crackers called Toasted,
and also some REALLY hot Habanero chips-- }
(well, Jerry liked the chips and Jessica and Shane liked the crackers-)
My family liked the stuff that I didn't choose....
I am starting to wonder,
if they only like other people's stuff
and not my stuff-- that I work HARD to create??????
Maybe I am expecting too much out of my family--
I like sincere comments and praise but, not overwhelming emotion.
Hmmmmm... should I work less on creating and
more on just getting the stuff where it needs to be?
To steal a phrase from Jessica, that "wise" and "sage child "
You get what you get and you don't throw a FIT! ---

An Award~

Happy Monday!
I love to read other peoples' blogs--
and I try to comment with honest emotion, and positive words.
This weekend, I received an award...! Yeah!!!!!!!
Thanks to ...The Hennhouse!

And here are the must do's--
The rules:

1. Choose five blogs that you consider deserving of this award.
2. Name the author and include a link to his/her blog.
3. Show the award and put the name and link of the blog that presented you the award.
4. Show the link blog of the origin of this award.
5. Show these rules.

"Blogging is a wonderful form of sharing and meeting new friends and can’t be complete without acknowledging that we’ve actually been there. It wouldn’t be as special without exchanging thoughts, comments and support. I would like to pass the award along to Five Super Commenters who always brighten my day with their comments:"
And so here goes~

1. I would love to pass this award on to Melody at Slurping Life--- I bet she has gotten this award many times. I know that praise and encouragement is helpful with kids, why not with the parents? Melody really has a heart for kids that aren't typical and she also is such a artist of words and pictures-- her comments to me and this blog,never fail to leave me uplifted and encouraged!
   
2. The second blog I would like to pass this on to is Shannon at Gabi's World- She is a working mom, that uses each bump in the road to learn from. Just the fact that she recently blogged by her cell phone -- gives her Extra marks from me-- I still use dial up!
   
3. The third blog I would like to pass this along to is The Special Parent, although she has been busy with her child's medical issues recently. She doesn't always post super often-- I do enjoy her blog-- she seems honest and trustworthy-- Great traits if you ask me!
   
4. This fourth blog Laura at Mom of Six -- I don't get to read very often-- but the fact that she has, six kids, a hubby in the military and still is able to blog is AMAZING--
5. And last but, by no means least...Michelle at In the Life of a Child -- Michelle's blog was the VERY first blog I read, and it is simply AWESOME. I would say more, but instead go see for yourself~ Visit her blog, and get involved in her blog carnivals, visit her at 5MFSN
   

There are a ...few other blogs I read--- but these are ones that I like to visit daily! I find myself popping over and commenting on many different blogs, usually through clicking on links during blog carnivals. I would visit and comment more-- but then my family might revolt!

What about you, how have you complied your list of blogs that you read,
--- how did you come up with your blog roll?

Thanks for visiting,
Please leave a comment-
my ego thrives on them!

Creating a 504 plan

Today, we had an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician --
We worked together to create the 504 plan...
The Dr. also said that Shane doesn't fit enough criteria to have the ADHD label... but he does meet the Sensory Processing Disorder "label" -- and so that is what we will use on the 504 plan.
I have to say I was very happy that this Dr. was on the same page as I was!
The Dr. also reminded me that Shane is very smart,see this post:http://frogparenting.blogspot.com/2008/08/shane.html
and that he may possibly qualify for the TAG program next year--
- (they don't usually offer the TAG[talented and gifted]program until 1st grade)
I also found out that we are #7 on the list for the school that I want Shane to be at--
So, instead of making a bunch of phone calls and emails--
I am just going to Pray, and put all of this in God's hands and let His Will be Done.

Shane

I have to make this a quick post--
since I am VERY behind in the

house work section of my To Do list...

Yesterday, was Shane's first day of therapy,
and the first day of his last week of school at EEP,(Early Education Program)
Shane also got a nice sized sliver in his thumb (while at school)and requested to go home
to see if Daddy could fix it. (mommy ended up getting 1/2 of the sliver out ! )
I also got a print out of Shane's assessment summary
from his teacher-- charting his progress from 2005 till now~
I have proof that he was behind, but that
he also made ...huge strides !
Ah, the Joy's !

• fine motor skills in 7-06 40 % and now 7-08 87%
• gross motor skills in 7-06 74% and now 7-08 97%
• Adaptive skills in 7-06 69% and now 7-08 89%
• Cognitive skills in 7-05 4% then in 7-06 37% then in 7-07 57% and now 7-08 85%
• Social Communication in 7-06 72% and then in 7-07 89% and now 7-08 100%
• Social skills in 7-05 26% then in 7-06 61% and then in 7-07 67% and now...84%
  

I am so proud of my Shane....
These numbers are from the
AEPS [Assessment Evaluation and Programing System]
for 3-6 years
and while Shane has made progress,
this test is really not suited for a description of his/our ..."Real World Experience"

He can communicate socially-- with a great vocabulary-- but his emotions tend to overtake his skills ~
WIP--- Work in Progress also... Work in Prayer!

A book,a prayer and a call for comments!

Do you ever feel like you are hiking up the hill of Motherhood,
only to realize that yours shoes are the wrong size for the job?
Do you ever wonder why, God thought so much of you(and yours),
to entrust you with your children's' lives?
Do you ever just wish that every moment of Motherhood,
would just feel, right?--no second guessing needed?
I know that often I think --
"Well, this is what I should do, but will that create the behavior-- or action I want?"

I have a dear friend--(SassyPatty) who is too funny and other things also...

I could post about her for life
and still not explain all that
...she is...
only a little sarcasm is included
LOL! -- Her kids are older, they are out of high school and are working and going to college, but when they were younger she struggled with many of the issues that I am currently working on.[IEP's, getting kids to listen and follow instructions--ect...]

I call her up to whine and complain and she listens -- then she tells me what she has done in the past, and then she just lets me decide to listen to her or not...
-- I have learned time and again that listening to her
-- and her 20/20 hindsight is a wondrous thing!
I guess you could say she is my mentor mom! Thanks Patty ! you rock...
I try to find positive things that I can use to create what I think I need/want...
I go on-line to blog and read others' blogs to see if any little thing they write can help me, by either giving me words of hope -- or ideas on how a little change by me, could create an awesome new event! Learning from others' seems to really work for me--
My kids are mainly healthy, my daughter might have a tough time of life when she is a teen, because of her kidneys', and I feel that my son will always need to learn and re-learn how to deal differently with Life..-- But, I really feel confident that with the Love of the Lord and my constant need to gather more information-- often-- We will have a successful life-- at least that is my prayer.
However, after reading my email this morning and finding that
I won a book,I won a book, I won something...Whhhhooooooooooooooo!
from Melody, at Slurping Life--
The book is a great one,for this - I am already sure-
(you must understand that I think (in my humble, honest opinion)
that Melody has, only the BEST taste in things to promote!)-
The Busy Mom's Devotional by Lisa Bergren
Anyway, I just wanted to say, Thank you again to both of these lovely ladies-- Melody and Lisa !
As mother's go-- you two seem to be on the fast track to the top of the heap!
Hopefully that comes as a complement to you both!

While I was reading and posting comments of thanks at Melody's blog this morning, I saw her mention of another blog... Praying for Parker--
please if you have a moment, and I know you do...-
- go and visit this blog --leave a comment and a pledge to prayer,
if you really want to be super awesome, donate something ~!

It really is all about giving back and learning from others !
I write this blog to brag about my kids, to share with others, to learn from it,
and to keep me on a positive path-- That's why it's Not, for Profit--- But for JOY!
Fully Rely On GOD.... fully rely on GOD parenting

May this blog give thanks for the positive things
that are to come... books and comments ! hint ...hint!

I also pledge to read the book that is to come and then to pass it along!
please excuse, any rotten spelling from me and this low-tech blog!