Roller coasters and parenting

http://www.ehow.com/how_2330679_overcome-fear-roller-coasters.html

I am finding out that this parenting thing is alot like a roller-coaster ride-- at first glance it looks like fun, but then when you experience a bit more-- you develop a healthy respect for the emotions of fear/joy/ and thrills.
Because both of my kids have had challenges (Jessica medically-- and Shane sensory&behaviors)
 insert thought bubble here:  I aways thought  end thought bubble.
 that I should get a special pass-- either to the front of the line, or at least my own personal assistant.
Good thing reality knows how to pop these bubbles of mine!
If you click on the link at the top of the page and read though the instructions you might be surprised how much of the advise could be about parenting.
1. Remember the Physics-- (It took quite a while for you to "bake that baby"-- or even adopt and then you had to go through labor and also paperwork)
e=mc2 One of Einstein's great insights was to realize that matter and energy are really different forms of the same thing. Matter can be turned into energy, and energy into matter.

The energy we use as parents---

 shows up as the energy that

creates our children into (children that...) matter.!

2. Keep your Eyes open--  Pay attention to the little things, because all too soon those sweet things-- may change.
3. Pretend you are driving the roller-coaster!  Ha... ha ...  we may be the parent but realizing that parenting isn't about us as an individual is a key thing-- me thinks....:)
4. Start with the smaller coasters.  Uh, yeah.... I recommend prayer for this one-- pray that God, knows you well and that his sense of humor is not on overdrive.---  He won't give you more than you can handle, but he sometimes likes to fill your arms with WORK!
5. Just Do it... yup-- there aren't any short cuts to this parenting thing that I have found-- I have searched high and low, I have begged,pleaded -- I have read books, taken classes and even...spent much time in prayer.   We may not always get this parenting thing right-- but we have the ability to try again tomorrow.

So, anyway I had some challenges with my parenting attitude this weekend--
My kids were fighting -- which is not very normal for them--I asked them to STOP, I even used a loud voice and still they were fighting with each other-- finally in an act of desperation I got a small cup of cold water and --- I flung it on them. Jessica stopped the yelling/screeching  that she was doing and began to cry the ugly cry with her eyes getting larger with every tear. Shane stopped pummeling his sister and looked at me like ~ how dare you interrupt me?-- I was ahead of her-- in the game of ouch--.  I think they were both stunned to their cores-- I had never done something so shocking to them before.
But... it worked it got them to stop what they were doing and hear what I had to say. They both got time-outs and both had to apologize-- heck they even both grumbled that I was being mean and unfair-- I figured that there discontent with me .... was proof that I had done something right!.

Shane didn't do well at church-- our new curriculum has a ton of transitions and Shane went into overload mode -- he wouldn't listen-- focus or anything and the staff didn't call me to help -- so Shane was VERY distracting for the whole group of kids.  I didn't find this out until after church was over and I was picking him up.  I can and I want to be:  able to deal with my son-- but after the FACT... is not the best plan.  So, we came home from church and since Shane confessed in the car that he had made some bad choices with his body-- I had him write an apology letter.

A friend of mine that I have known since I was a teen passed away-- I am very sad-- we had re-connected on Face book-- but I had yet to really talk with her about how her life was-- and share with her how my life is.-- The only thing that about this that helps me manage my emotions-- is that she was a faithful follower of the Mormon religion. So, I know that she is in HIS arms.

There was also a death on my father's side of the family-- This Saturday I am going to that funeral at a Catholic church and although I want to go and share in the event-- I get so un-comfortable at catholic events-- I know I don't fit in and it makes me nervous.

Tomorrow we are going to celebrate Jerry and Shane's birthday's --
 at the park with a pinata, a silly string fight and cupcakes.-- I can't wait to see the pictures I will be taking!

And Life...goes on--- up and down and all around. Ya Got yer seat belt on? , ! Buckle UP!

By the way... God does have a sense of humor-- if you check out the video in my next post,  that is one of the worship songs that we sang while at church--  go ahead... call me Undignified!



It's Friday

School is going well, Shane likes his teacher, as do I--
 Jessica is so happy with her teacher I think she gets mad when school is over, and she has to come home.

I only have two things that are concerning to me--

 I haven't yet had much time with his new SPED teacher to see how well he responds to her directions-- I like her fine-- but it's Shane who will need to decide this.

There is an IA who has been at the school for a long time,  she happens to be older than me-- she is really skilled~ however.  When I come to pick Shane up from school, I give him a little bit of time to calm his body before walking him out-- we try to be quiet when we get his backpack-- but sometimes he is a bit wiggly. This IA will walk by and in her best teacher voice, say Shane show me a 1--.
A one is a calm body and Shane is supposed to attempt to achieve this OFTEN...
As his parent, I want him to be at a one... I want him to be calm,still and polite-- but if I am picking him up and taking him home.... then isn't he under MY direction ?
 and shouldn't all of the requests for behavior change come from me at that point???? 
I am sure that this  IA is not trying....  to make me FEEL like I can't get my son to have a calm body.
If I was less sure of myself as a parent, I would think(and feel)  that she (thinks) feels like she can do a better job with my son.

It's a sticky thing -- and I don't know if it's worth saying something or not... and then if I do decide to say something, who do I approach?  I know that it would be very difficult to speak directly to that IA-- she is very busy, and often there are kids around, I would not want my words to be repeated or misconstrued.

I had such a great relationship with the SPED teacher last year...this would of been a quiet conversation or a private email. -- I would of not felt like I was complaining, but only that I was been heard. ---

I went to the PT yesterday and I got good marks for following through and doing my exercises, (yahooo)
the PT was also nice enough to show me how to move my foot when I walk-- and seeing her move her foot-- I don't think I have ever used my foot the way GOD meant it to be used!   I have exercises to do every day and every evening I ice my foot-- I also need to spend some time scraping off the calluses on the bottom of both of my feet. The PT suggested that I "wean" myself off of the boot -- so this morning, When we were dropping the kids off at school I walked from one end, to the other-- about a block and a half.
I had to walk slow and pay attention to what my foot was doing-- it was a challenge.

I spent some one on one time, yesterday with Shane-- playing mailbox-- he had some old shoe boxes that were the message box and so  I would write a goofy message and then he would come and get the box drag it to where he was a read and answer my message. I tried to make the messages silly, but still something that he would need to read. It was fun to play with him like that and I did manage to get him to write some words--!  I think this may become a regular thing-- he liked moving the box across the floor and I liked seeing him eager to write with the pencil!  Although -- I am sure I will have to change the game a bit as the days go on-- to make it more of a challenge.

Happenings here at our house

My dear husband went the other night to Urgent Care-- he had been having ear pain and he thought he might have swimmers ear. They pulled out a bunch of wax-- about the size of a pencil eraser. That was a few days ago-- This morning he was still in pain and one side of his face is slack.. his smile is lopsided... He went once again to Urgent Care-- he now has Bell's Palsy.  
At his work there is about 80 employees, of that eighty 5 have had Bell's palsy-- and all 5 are diabetic!   
This weekend Jerry is singing with his band Paradox to celebrate a birthday---
 Jerry says that ... aint nothin' gonna stop him...so I guess it will be interesting to see how this show goes!

The kids have been happy to mostly hang out at home this week... we did go to the park for free lunch and it was AWESOME, Shane and Jessica were very well behaved -- but when it came time to leave-- I mentioned that I would love to reward the kids by stopping by our local store-- I wanted a soda... as a treat for myself--  Shane decided that he to be really demanding about what he wanted-- he started being insistent that I get him a CD that had video games on it.  Clearly...Shane was not listening when I tried to explain what a possible reward might be.  Finally, after feeling like I was fighting with a cloud... I said, Shane either you stop demanding in 5 seconds or no reward for anyone.   It took him more than 5 seconds to stop... so no one... not even Mommy got a reward. hum....
I don't know that he clearly understood the cause and effect of his words and behavior-- later that evening he wanted dessert.... (Daddy had brought home some ice cream) Shane was once again really rude about asking for dessert, he was also mouthing off with Jessica while she was trying to serve up the ice cream, I gave a warning and then I said ... that's enough... no dessert for either of you!  Jessica was not happy with me...(Shane went off to his room to cry)  but she was a bit part of the problem... she could of requested my help or asked Shane more forcefully to leave her alone.

Sometimes I think I need to kick my Mommy butt... so that I stop catering to my children -- but then sometimes I wonder am I expecting too much? Or are the kids ... taking me for a "ride"?
Parenting is such a flexible thing.... but I know that the kids need, and crave structure and rules-- It's hard to know if I am doing a good job... or if I am "mucking them all up!"  [recently I read a book, and the Author is from... across the Pond...]  :)

I am also in the middle of sewing 60 seat covers with pockets for the third grade teachers--so far,  I have sewn 5 ... but I am not going super fast -although ~I need to get off of here and get busy doing...something!

Getting rid of the yeah-buts

yeah, but...

Do you ever find yourself asking for advise from someone and then saying yeah... but--
I keep getting taught this lesson over and over again--
When we ask for advise, we need to listen with open ears,hearts and minds-- because if we don't then we end up with yeah, buts... and those do not make changes!

I know it's not easy to ask for advise-- and I know that sometimes the thought of other people/parents knowing that something isn't going smoothly is scary.
I really think that if WE want CHANGE,
then we have to be OPEN to hearing a new way of doing things.

I have found that if you ask a professional, or a skilled parent for advise, it won't come quickly-- that person will stop and think before speaking-- I think WE/I as the parent need to STOP, and LISTEN.  Maybe the advise isn't just right, but if you don't try what they suggest..... then the change you wish for ... will not come.


Maybe the lesson is to ask for advise, and be clear about what you wish/want the result to look like.
I think parents need to be flexible and willing,
 but that the kids need to have consistency and structure,
seems kinda like a conundrum to me.

By the way Thank you to all my commenters who give me advise...
I do appreciate each and every one of you--
even when I think in my head... yeah, but   
 I have been TRYING to take your advise,  honest!   :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... The kids, Jerry and I, invited some friends to meet us at the theater for a free movie-- because we got there a bit late--
 Jerry and Shane sat together and Jessica and I sat with our friends-- it was an interesting expirence... I didn't hear Shane's comments the whole movie... but I heard Jessica's laughter--
 I much perfered the laughter~~ maybe sitting apart at a movie theater is a good thing?

We saw Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs... we have seen if before but...it was still FUNNY!

I found that sitting on a blanket is nice, but that getting up (without hurting your foot and toes)-- requires a picnic table.

The week ahead~

Sometimes I wish that Friday was a lot closer, but today I am a bit uneasy for Friday--
I am going to have my foot fixed on Friday~Then, on Saturday my husband is taking the kids to our church for his Uncles' funeral--I wish I would go and pay my respects, but I think I will be convalescing at my Aunt's-- I don't think I'll be ready to be out and about yet.
Today, I have plans to go to the library and stock up on some books.Yesterday, my neighbor Jessica played with Shane and my Jessica at a park across from the hospital while I had my SUPER long check in appointment for the surgery. I think the worse part of the appointment is when they told me how much they expected me to pay on Friday.... $2300.00!  I was so shocked.... nope... no one called to tell me this ahead of time.... and yup-- Jerry was very upset-- I text-ed him the amount at work and he immediately went to Human Resources to vent. I hope that today brings new,different answers !

So, we are 8 days into no medication for Shane... Things seems to be going okay-- While we were camping there were a few meltdowns-- but nothing that was really scary. So, I am feeling pretty good about taking him off the meds.
We used a combination of strategies to deal with meltdowns--

• When all the kids were asked to move the wood pile~ Shane got real loud and complained that he "always has to do Everything... " I explained very clearly to Shane that this task was a have-to and that if he didn't start helping that he would have a consequence.  He reluctantly helped out-- I used some cross talk to help him do more-- (Shane look at Mandy, she's a girl and she has three pieces of wood! -- Hey, look at Little Tony he has a whole stack I bet you can do more than him!, let's try !)It also helped that all the parents and family members around were GREAT about heaping the praise on once Shane was following directions!  
• In the evening. Shane was getting very crashy-- he was on super fast speed and we decided that it was time for a break-- so Jerry and I worked together we took Shane to our tent, and told him he could snuggle under his heavy blanket and read, or he could go to sleep- Shane choose to read! He did poke his head out the tent a few times, but it was great to have him decompress somewhere safely and calmly!
• The kids had all planned on learning how to be a Junior Ranger-- when it came time to go and hear the lesson-- Shane... threw a fit... :(   I took Shane off to the side and tried to explain to him, what was going to happen-- but Shane was past the reasoning point -- The decision was made to keep Shane at camp with me...  And although I like Shane to have to follow thru with things, this time avoidance worked for us! ... Shane and I ended up going on a "hike/walk" in the woods...
• We also brought my ipod and that was SUCH a blessing -- I had put They Might Be Giants, Here Comes Science -- on it and for about an hour Shane was happily listening, calm and still! Joy!

While at the library today I got complemented on the kids... Jessica was sitting nicely in a chair, and Shane was on  the floor without his sandals-- about 8 books spread out around him happily laying on his tummy reading a book-- about motor cross!  These are the moments that I strive for ! yahooo!

Anyway... it's time to get dinner started !

Garage Sale,Grocery Store Etiquette

Is there such a thing as Garage Sale Etiquette? http://www.drdaveanddee.com/etiquette.html

This is a picture out my front door-- apparently there is a block long garage sale-- happening today!
The street is not very wide so it has been kinda funny to see people and cars try to navigate the small space there is ...  It got me to thinking, if you weren't apart of the block long garage sale-- but you just happened to have stuff on your front yard-- how would people react? Would they just walk into your yard and start picking things up? And then how would you as the homeowner react? Would you run outside yelling and screaming?  What would happen if you were cleaning out the garage and yet people thought your stuff was  apart of the sale?

Garage Sales are such a fluid thing-- they often don't have an official, beginning middle and end.--
{Well at least that is my observation.}-- I would imagine that there are people-(not me)- who will start a sale at 8 am on the dot and stop that sale at 5pm.-- But I really think that doesn't happen very often. 
When you go to a garage sale do you discuss,out loud ~ what you like or don't like do you whisper to your neighbor-- "This price is too high?". 
So, many things about a garage sale are not clearly stated-- should I dicker/bicker about the price? Should I ask to try out the item? Should I even touch the item?

I would imagine that all these questions are much like the questions that plague our SPD kids -- and even our regular kids have -- navigating the "social world"!

I find myself doing a ton of pre-talking before we go somewhere-- lately I haven't been pre-talking too much-- I have a head cold and I am just trying to "get through" life. 

We went grocery shopping yesterday and I forgot to talk with the kids about how I wanted the groceries packed in the bags...  I had a moment of anger and frustration when Jessica was just putting items in...."willy nilly" Shane was just happy to keep pressing the button to move the conveyor belt -- he would take the  items off the belt and then press the button again.

I really think that if I had not been dealing with a head cold I would of managed the situation better-- .
I didn't yell or scream at the kids but I moved them both out of the way and finished the sacking of the groceries all by myself. Later after we were home, I thought about how I had just let a teach-able moment pass -- I could of done a MUCH better job of pre-talking and then showing what I wanted done.

I was annoyed that I let the moment pass-- I was also annoyed that I let others' who seemed to be SUPER impatient motivate me to just do it myself.  

Why do we have to be in a hurry to do everything?? Why can't we just slow down and breathe?
I wonder if these questions are the ones that prevent our SPD kiddos from responding quickly to a request?
Maybe if I slow down my expectations--
 maybe that will allow my children the time they NEED to comply with a request?
anyway.... just thinking... and wishing this head cold would STOP holding me back! .... geez I'm impatient! :)
haha ha

Our Weekend

So, this weekend ~

Shane, Jessica and I went to church-- and the kids didn't have Sunday School class as usual-- so they were in with me in the sanctuary--

This was a HUGE step out of the box of normalcy for Shane and me... (I?)

I am used to dropping the kids off with Miss C - who is an AWESOME kinder teacher in real life.-- and then if things go well-- I get the kids out of the classroom when church is over.

Once in a while they put the number up for Shane and I have to go and deal with a meltdown-- but lately Jessica has been staying in Shane's classroom and she has been able to help avoid meltdowns. (yay! Jessica)

Shane was baulking when we were walking to the sanctuary-- he didn't want to try something new-- I kept explaining that we were going to church and that if he wanted his reward... then he would need to follow directions. (Yup, I bribed my son!)

I took a deep breath and found us seats at the back near the exits--

During Worship Singing-- Shane did okay... it helped that the Worship team asked for the kids to jump around and dance while singing...

My biggest challenge was getting Shane to lower his voice. I did get some looks from some people who must of thought something was wrong-- I tried not to look their way I just tried to stay present in the moment and either focus on Shane, Jessica or Praising the Lord.

I was so happy, and I got to relax a bit- when the ushers brought over bags of goodies for the kids--.

Jessica had been doing fine next to me, but I think she was ready for something to do with her hands.

I kept an ongoing conversation with Shane-- by writing on a piece of paper-- Shane, show me calm body-- Shane you are doing green card work...keep it up.

A while back Shane's SPED teacher made him these cards with funny expressive faces on them-- they have descriptions of what the pictures show-- Twirly,mad,sad,happy,frightened,nervous,tired,confused,--

on the back of the cards are strategies of how to best manage these feelings-- Those cards were a lifesaver to me-- I didn't have to constantly tell Shane what I wanted to see-- I just kept showing him the happy card-- I even used the card to give him some positive reinforcement. When he was doing good... (he was on the floor coloring...) I tapped him on the back and gave him thumbs up and showed him the happy card-- he in return gave me thumbs up back-- :)

We got thru service and then towards the end my nephew,was asked to pray over the bread for communion--(He did a GREAT job! ) Shane and Jessica and I survived!

The people who were behind us were very sweet about not letting Shane disrupt them-- much-- :) After service I went ahead and explained about SPD-- they were very receptive to my comments-- they even mentioned that during service they were praying that Shane would mellow so that we all could enjoy service! It was nice to know that these lovely people had my back! It helped that Shane did turn and say good morning and greet these people quite sweetly... I think the lady liked Shane's blue eyes!

anyway...

That was the BIG thing this weekend... we also had a playdate with a classmate of Jessica's -- I took a bunch of pictures -- but I want to ask her mom before posting.

There is a great blog that I have only recently found, called lucasjourneyspd.blogspot.com -- if you click on the link-- you can go read and watch two videos-- that are all about SPD-- GREAT information and easy to understand.

Tomorrow I'll get to share some pictures of Shane getting an award at school... Stay Tuned !

I notice that I have some new followers--

WELCOME! happy to have you, please do comment--

I SO LOVE reading your thoughts,ideas,suggestions-- and encouragement!

If you have a blog--send me the link and I'll add you to my list-- so that I can follow you also!

Just one of "those" days ~

Life is not always easy...nor is parenting-- :)

Just when you think you are knowledgeable about your kids, they either change their behaviors or-- your skills become obsolete!    Heck of a learning curb/curve if you ask me!

Today there was an Assembly at school, and Shane had a sub-- who is REALLY great with him-- she knows his regular teacher and so Shane doesn't have a chance to be a "pill" --- cause there are too many eyes on him... hehehehe! ahem 
 I was at the school to do some filing for Jessica's teacher, I overheard Shane with his IA, (Instructional Assistant) Shane was very adamant that he WOULD not be going to the Assembly, his IA was trying to convince him that he needed to try, -- I heard his tone of voice and I just knew that he was not going to be able to manage the Assembly.   I waited till they were past me in the hallway and then I tried to walk by them without Shane noticing--- I didn't want to be a distraction that ruined anything his IA had talked Shane into. (It doesn't feel good to avoid your child at school, but I knew that if he saw me the wrong time that might just set him up to make more negative comments.) 
Shane looked up just as I was walking by, he gave me a half-hearted hug and then went the other way with his IA... the look on his face was like he wasn't really there-- his eyes weren't there normal color and his smile didn't have the same brilliance.  It makes me sad to see my son with that look on his face, I think he doesn't even know that he's not connected to his body, and yet it's like he wants to ... just break-through the veil.
I went to the Assembly and watched the other kids get good behavior awards~
 (4 or 5 awards per each classroom),
I clapped and smiled, but there was that part of my heart that was torn-- Shane tries so hard ALL the time, and yet his behavior is not yet ....seen as typical-- he gets a TON of support in the classroom and he is doing relatively well academically-- {with the exception of handwriting}  but because he is not yet an expert at managing his SPD--he is still squirmy and wiggly...
Shane has been asking and asking to have a play-date with a few of the different boys at school-- I have been reluctant to say yes-- I know from experience how quickly Shane can meltdown and I know how his meltdown can have affects hours and sometimes days later.
 I finally overcame my terror, and we planned today...  to finally have the play-date.
I didn't want to leave Shane alone, but after talking with my neighbor-- who is a great sounding board, and talking with the Dad, about how to call if Shane starts to get twitchy... I finally decided that I needed to just let Shane do this. ---
Can I just say I was ...really ....really sweating this decision! 
It was so helpful that I could go back over to my neighbors' house and try to keep busy talking with her, all the while watching the clock tick by.... I think that might of been one of the longest hours... EVER!
Finally it was time to go get Shane, Jessica wanted to stay where she was so -- I went by myself, and even though it took about 40 minutes to leave-- between Shane taking off and on his shoes, finding his socks, getting a loaner toy to transition to, and me ... talking this poor father's ear off about how our family is "just different."  
 I am SURE that I said too much, but on the other hand, I would rather the Father possibly understand why we are like we... "are" -- than think that we are a bunch of wacko's! ...
 Hey, are we a bunch of wacko's...anyway? nah... I hope not!

I have been trying new recipe's for dinner this week, tonight the kids gave me the thumbs down...last night wasn't much better...    (Last night was breaded pork-chops that were soaked in OJ and then breaded-- along with some Parmesan couscous-- they liked the flavor of the couscous-- but the texture wasn't appealing)
 I was hoping to have a home run with one of the dinners-- ah, well at least I know my husband and I will have some happy taste-buds! This evening we had Maple-pecan  pork-chops--

I guess I have been cooking the bland food that the kids like so much that now they are not interested in food with new flavors!  grrrrr. ...

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the week, I hope that Jerry and I can keep the kids busy this weekend.  Jerry wants to take the kids bowling.... I hope this is a good idea!

Our Ash Wednesday

• My computer is moving like it's a snail, on it's way to a meeting at a salt mine.
• Because of the Trains we live near by and our refusal to have cable TV-- our TV is periodically going digital-- so that you cannot view the program or hear the program-- but it seems to show the commercials just fine!
• My dear husband is trying to finish the bathroom -- but he is not as motivated as I would like..
• Tomorrow, Jerry is going fishing ALL DAY LONG.
• Getting a phone call from the school two days in a row-- does not make a Happy Mommy ~
• Getting a FREE cozy comfy t-shirt in the mail is AWESOME.
• The weather people were predicting sunshine... we have cold and no sun. One of the weather guys just "explained" that it's just because of where were are at-- that's why we didn't get the nice SUNNY weather -- we live in the VALLEY-- aw, Joy ! ?

I took some pictures of Shane... modelling his new shirt-- the pictures I took yesterday disappeared! My camera told me to reformat my memory card and when I did... I lost all the pictures on the camera

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/chivalry

Shane is trying his hand at being chivalrous-- today when another boy-- was being a bit friendly and physical-- with Shane's favorite girl-- Shane decided to hit the boy in the back and then he continued to be loud,disrespectful, and then he even escalated to throwing chairs.  :(

It is tough to raise your child to be helpful and considerate-- but also teach them about asking for help when they need it-- not to mention teach them about not being a tattle tail-- but telling the truth.

Clearly, Shane was thinking only about his favorite girl-- but his teachers and I are working hard at explaining that he does NOT have to be the behavior police for EVERYone...

I am not sure how this might tie into it being Ash Wednesday

American Idol was on last night and that made me happy-- :)

 but then this durn head cold is making sleep difficult!

at least American Idol will be on again tonight...

Sonic,Soft and BORing...

So, Jerry the kids and I had dinner at Sonic for the very first time--

 their fry sauce was AWESOME

- it made me remember Artic Circle~

Jessica got in trouble at school-- she was supposed to be quietly working on her computer while the TV cameras were getting ready to film,-- instead she said very loudly... "BORing...."

Jessica was SO embarassed that her teacher had to tell me the story...

she couldn't bring herself to explain ... WHAT she was THINKIN?  

Shane came home after only being at the school for part of the day-

- he had a meltdown and he escalated by throwing chairs...

Shane recieved his new t-shirt from SOFT...

At least American Idol is on...

More shower pictures....how exciting! ?

one side of the shower-- the blue part is waiting to be plastered-- or something like that... My head is getting foggy again so I can't remember the correct term.

the other side of the shower...

Although the tub is installed and the water is back on -- we aren't yet using this shower/tub combination.More odds and ends of things to do still --

Tomorrow, Both Jerry and Rick are taking a day off -- Jerry is going fishing, and Rick is working at our church-- which is also in the middle of a remodel.--

Jessica has learned how to use the blow dryer-- and I told her to help her brother  ~ so I let her dry Shane's hair-- I am impressed that my kids were able to work together!

I am also in need of $410,000.00 dollars.

There is a house for sale that has

 6 bedrooms,3 baths,approximately 3,260 square feet, .97 acre lot, taxes about $3,290.51

it has a semi circle driveway, hardwood floors,lots of built in's, breakfast nook ,indoor laundry huge bonus area upstairs and a large living room with fire place!

I drive by this house very often and I have even daydreamed about living there--

When I stopped to get the information page today,

 Shane told me that if we bought the house, then we needed to adopt some kids--

 he was really flexible-- he said some boys and some girls, between the ages of 6 and 8--

So, I guess I need to just get the money and the training and paperwork all together? LOL

Gosh, it would be lovely to have that house, but I don't think that it's in the cards at the moment!

time to go and sit on the couch and watch the TV without paying too much attention!

I hate it, but I love it~

Because of my kids-- I have learned to be the resource mom.

I hate it -- but I love it...

When Jessica was born I had to learn all about being the mom of a preemie-- I had to learn about how to navigate the medical jargon, I had to learn just how precious the caring staff could be, I had to learn how to follow my Mom's instinct and -- sometimes I had to voice my opinion.

I remember I felt like I had been left off on a deserted island... like the people in LOST.

I kept wishin and hoping that I could have someone to call who had been there-- done that ...

The nurses, staff and the social workers helped--

 but none could really answer my difficult questions--

How long will this last?

Will she be normal?

How am I going to get used to this ..."feeling" ?

And

Why?

Then when we found out about the E coli,  the Dr's kept saying,

 "Well she's a case study of one--- We don't know for sure if her kidney's were ever normal-- and really we don't know if her normal is strong enough." 

So, when Shane was born and his behavior as an infant was not -- even in my experience "typical--"

I felt like I deserved a T-shirt... been there done that... I knew who to call -- or at least I knew what agencies to start by calling.

Other mom's that I met thru my circle of friends would often call me for help

-- I enjoy helping when I can, but this was very weird for me--

I was learning how to just be ...a mom-- and yet I was instead,  this person with information.

I finally decided that I could just go ahead... and give help when I could ~

I still get phone calls -- I need help -- who do I call and how do I ask for what I need.

This weekend the kids and I went down to the school to ..."play" tennis, while we were there Shane-- proceeded to tell another little boy...

 all about his "skateboard shoes, and how his wii is just the best thing EVER...."

I found myself talking to the mom and the next thing I know I am talking about the school and how it's great this year-- I go on and on... about how EEP (the pre-school) is just over there in that building; I talk about how you can call EC Cares and get your child tested -- all of this is a bit much-- now that I think  back I hope I didn't freak out that mom... I am not sure that I sounded like a "sweet" passionate mom...

I may of sounded like highly skilled Mom on a Mission to convert all to MY WAY OF THINKING!

So, I guess I ended up this weekend hating that I knew all this,

STUFF-- and yet Loving it that I knew where to get information--

• and still I am not done with my search for how best to not to pull my hair out~ 
• or how to navigate the web to find what I need quickly-- rather than sifting thru a ton of sites...
•  

So, anyway-- that was our weekend!

Happy Monday...

prayers for HennHouse,Travis and family,Sally Jo in China, and Haiti

Post #516

As the kids have grown older, Jerry and I have tried to let them take on more responsibilities, when we thought it was time.

Jessica even signed a contract that is posted in their bathroom-- it says

"When I am 8, I will run my own bath, November 13, 2008"

Well... last night she FINALLY completed this task! She also was able, for the first time- to use my blow dryer.(It was on the low setting but--I am still really happy that she is attempting to do more...)

A few weeks ago, Jerry drove by the middle school, and he thought he saw Jessica's bicycle--Jerry was able to come home and find that indeed Jessica's bike had be removed from our yard. Jerry went up to the school and although the bike was once again moved, he found it and brought it home. (Jerry is such a good Daddy...)

Just last Sunday, I got a text from my neighbor while I was on my way out of church-- apparently a teen had tried to steal our bikes - but was deterred by them being locked to our boat trailer-- and our AWESOME neighbor, Pam-- who was..,. rather vocal about things...:)

A few days ago Jessica was convinced that she should be allowed to walk home from school-- she wanted to "step up to the plate" -- she was being stubborn, and she didn't really want to hear what I had to say about the topic. When we got home Jerry and I talked for a few moments about the issue, and then Jessica came in. Jerry took the lead in explaining to Jessica why .... we didn't think that walking home from school was safe. Jessica offered to have me escort her in the KIA-- we explained that the other drivers might not like that idea. I have a feeling that this topic will be reappearing soon-- hopefully I can find a good way to tell Jessica no, without squashing her desire to ..."step up to the plate".

Shane had a rather good day at school and I found out that he gets to keep his IA until April!

It was nice to hear that he was also able "to deal" with an Assembly-- they brought him some headphones and books-- and he did fine! Assembly's are held in the gym, and Shane typically doesn't enjoy the gym-- so this was a GOOD DAY!~

Our yearly book fair is coming up and although I am going to help, I am going to be praying for patience and skill when responding to people's comments. I like to help when I can, but often I have to shut my mouth and try to keep my feet on the floor, as apposed to in my mouth-- or stomping my feet. (sheepist smile...)

I have been praying and I continue to be in prayer for the HennHouse, Travis and family, Stacey P. and family--- and last but not least Haiti!.

Jerry's work is matching donations for Haiti, from their employees, and although Jerry and I didn't have a lot to give, it still felt good to have our donation go a bit further thanks to his employer.

Last evening before bed, Jessica asked me

to make up some math problems,

Shane was happily reading a book about knock, knock jokes...

even though both are fighting a head cold

it was nice to see them being so wonderful!

Ah, joy!

I also stumbled upon a new blog -- http://www.hartleysboys.com/ I was reading a bit over there and often the topic seems to be SPD...and how to manage all that comes with that acronym along with other acronyms.. ... Oh, Joy!

Food and Fabric, ah, Joy!

Pardon me, I am eating spaghetti while I type... and I LOVE spaghetti...

the kids and Jerry do also-- so when I make spaghetti I feel the love from EVERYONE!

I make it with Foster Farms Turkey Meatballs, home style version~

(look for them in the freezer section)

both of the kids are kinda picky eaters

So, I take these meatballs which come fully cooked,

I bake them in the oven, then I cool them

while the noodles are cooking

and then I add the sauce.

(I just use whatever jar of spaghetti sauce I have,

if I add extra cans of tomatoes or any extra spices, Shane will not eat as much)

Then I get out the meatballs and cut them up

-- Jerry and I love just eating the meatballs whole--

but I found that the spaghetti goes a bit further if I cut them up~

Because the meatballs are soft and pre-formed

they seem to be easier for the kids to eat, then ground beef.

Ah, Joy.... simple, almost priceless joy!

At lunch the other day Shane choose a Garden burger, he took one bite and then raised his hand... "May I , have something else?, This isn't what I expected!" The staff was nice enough to let Shane have another lunch, this time he choose a cheeseburger. (Shane tries to tell me that he is a vegetarian, but --- I disagree with him!)

Recently I turned 39 ... and my Mother-in-law was so SWEET, she just sent me a bleated birthday card with a gift card for $20.00 at Joann's Fabrics...!
Jerry was able to let me go to the fabric store all by myself!

I couldn't make a choice-- I kept seeing things that I wanted to make for Jessica,Shane, my sister-in-law Sara...my nephew Miles... my grandson Irie. When I realized it was almost 5pm I decided that I needed to just sit at the pattern table and choose!

It sure helped that Simplicity patterns were on sale for $1.99 -- then when the pattern called for knit fabric I found some that was 30% off! Score!

I got the fabric,the pattern some thread and I still have almost $3.00 left on the card! yahooooo...
Simplicity pattern #2554 view B, the fabric I choose is at the top of this post.

Now, if I could just "farm my kids out" for about 4 hours-- I bet I could get the top cut out and sewn. Too bad Jerry works for the next 4 days... (I also need to finish some Pj's for my cousin's son...)

Just before dinner Shane comes up to me... looks me in the eyes and says, "Mom, can I go back to school?" I almost had tears well up in my eyes-- He wanted to go back to school--

what JOY -- this conversation would of never of happened last year... there were too many mixed messages about school. I answered him that yes on Monday he could go back to school.

Next weekend, my sister-in-law Danni-- who is a very qualified backpacker, is taking Jessica and I for an overnight backpacking trip.-- We are going to Matthew's Lake-- apparently it isn't a tough hike but it is a lot more than I am used to. Danni is so eager to go, that she offered to let me sit and take a break while she hikes with Jessica to our camp, and then comes back to help me ...

I so hope.... and pray that I am able to just keep moving...I am so sure I will be tired and sore in the morning-- but I am also hoping that this will motivate me to start exercising !

Because of ~

Because of my parents selling their camper-trailer via Craigslist
I had to return the keys for the trailer to my Aunt
and because of meeting my Aunt at a local grocery store
The kids and I got to see Ivy -- a really great teacher from Shane's EEP (preschool class...)
Even though I had not seen Ivy in over a year, she had been here at this blog reading and so she knew of all of our recent trials--- It was great to hear that I had some more invisible means of support!
Then when I opened my inbox--
I got to read the draft of the report -- determining if Shane would get the classification of Autism... -- reading it was very ummm.... eye-opening... seeing my scores next to Jerry's and then next to the teachers' on a graph... well that was kinda funny.
It doesn't seem that Shane will receive an IEP, he doesn't fit enough of the criteria! (well...duh!)
The report was 12 pages long-- so I think I will be going back and re-reading every so often.
The very last page had some great recommendations on it --
that seemed to be from...mine own mouth...(lol)
I am almost eager to go to the meeting on Wes, and hear what everyone has to say--- I am praying and hoping for the best... --- cause I am done with the yuck stuff... it's time to move on!

Post #440

Well, I do think we are almost packed up and ready to go--
I have a list that I am checking,once,twice and thrice...
(I like that word thrice... note to self: try to use in conversation)
"Shane this is your thrice warning...pick up your toys!" ...yeah right!
I am really sad that my BIG Brother Peter, his lovely wife, Sara and their sweet son Miles-- will not be able to come camping with all of the "rest of us" I think there is about 30 or so of us...
I am hoping that the normal drama will not get out of hand...
Today, Jessica and I went to the orthodontist twice... Once the hygienist looked inside Jessica's mouth and poked around a bunch, it was clear that the bottom expander needed to come out and be re-worked the gums had swollen all around it-- The tech and the dentist talked and decided how best to make it less irritating for Jessica's gums... They also put a "thing" on her 4 front teeth... that will move them closer together-- since they are straight now, Jessica says that the 4 teeth will now be kissing each other...Awwwww...
I was just happy to hear that not all of the gums being swollen was because of plaque... some of the gums might just have been not able to tolerate the metal.
Yeah... I don't know I'm just typing what I think...I thought I heard! :)

Why do I blog? 'cause I want to keep a on-line record of/for my family--

and I enjoy sharing information--

sometimes I get to help people...and sometimes people help me!

I am hoping to have a bunch of pictures and maybe even a funny story or to to share...

Hey...Elizabeth...I am also planning on getting to work on the Pj's --- I promise I might even send them in the mail... but I want to be sure of the address....(just teasing...) But really, I do promise to work on them after I get home from camping!

Jasmine, & family-- thanks for being our professional fish sitter-- don't forget to write me a bill for your time, I know that Marina is such a feisty fish... :)

Patty, save up all the karaoke gossip until I get back...I'll need an update when I get back...that will help bring me back to reality! Maybe, I can deliver your table in person~ and I can take a night off --I look at the work schedule....Conrad suggested that I look into using the weights that are used in drapes for Shane's weighted vest/motorcycle jacket... I haven't had a chance yet to check out this idea... but I'm thinking it might be a good one! Thanks!

So, all of you followers...and fellow bloggers~

I'll miss your funny,emotional posts... see you in 4 or more days! :)

This Monday was GOOD!

~ I started my day worried that Shane wouldn't have a good day

and I was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a guest teacher when I dropped him off, and Shane was annoyed that he didn't get to play for a few minutes with his bike and rider while we waited for the classroom to be open... Because this guest teacher had the room open and ready for the kids to come in! I took a few moments and talked with her about the new correction plan that we have in place-- she had already read it and was on-board and willing to use it. She took my phone # down just in case--

The phone never rang! Hallelujah!

When I got to the school to pick up Shane, he was a part of the class running across the playground to "ditch" his lunch and then he got to play at recess for with the other kinders!
While he was playing I got to touch base with Bruce, our professional Behaviorist(this is just my title for Bruce)-- and also the guest teacher -- Both had very positive things to say about Shane and -- also suggestions for me... about Shane hugging other's--
In the past the teacher has said that Shane is only allowed to hug teacher and not the students... because he can sometimes turn a hug into a tackle... (it sounds like the teacher isn't fond of enthusiasm!)
Bruce, suggested that the other students should be taught to say, STOP and hold up a hand if they do not want a hug-- and if Shane still tries to hug~ then they can say I need bubble space~
I LOVE this idea! I can use this at home, at school -- wherever and it doesn't sound like a correction but like a re-direct!
I also got a complement from a staff person -- she was so happy to finally connect me with Shane-- she was happy to mention that Shane has come a long way-- and that she can't wait to see how much better his behavior can get! She had a child herself with issues similar to Shane and so she really understood that he has great things underneath his behaviors!
Ah, the Joy.... the simple pure joy !

Good Weekend

It was such a weird weekend -- we had snow,rain,sun -- on each day this weekend !
The kids were off on Friday and it was grocery day---So, I tried something new-- I borrowed my husbands' truck and I used it to drive around-- the truck has a heater and air conditioning-- it is much taller and it has more power. It was nice to drive something that was big and pretty--
The kids enjoyed being in the truck also -- there is more space in the truck and they sit up higher so their view is different. (I thought that for a time on Saturday I was going to get sicker-- with a head cold, but I didn't! -- so we missed a birthday party--:( -- )
I posted an ad on Craiglist to see if I could get Shane a desk -- Jessica already has one and the kids fight over it -- so I was hoping to get one for Shane-- I got one for FREE ! --- yahooooo --- it wasn't very pretty-- so I purchased some stripper and during a dry part of the day I stripped the desk of the ugly paint,marker and glitter that it had on it.
On the way home from getting the desk the kids were fascinated to look out the window--- the amount of fluffy clouds that were all around. Shane and Jessica started calling out ~

• look mom, it's a running poodle
• Mom, can you see that sleeping polar bear?
• no, that's a turtle sleeping
• and then Shane said, " Mom, look I see a God Train! "

if I could of stopped the truck and taken a picture I would of... what a moment!

It was a good weekend, I didn't get all the groceries purchased -- however things seemed to go well. Jerry is going to stain the desk to protect from splinters and such-- I think that we will be the final owners of this desk-- it will need to be recycled after we are done with it!

We had an awesome guest at our church-- he was a man that speaks Russian and his native language -- he lives near Mongolia the details escape me-- but it was simply stunning to hear -- via interpreter his message. I plan on getting the DVD of the service to view again and share.

My nephew,Miles- turned one this weekend, and looking at his blog-- it seems like a good time was had by all!

Tomorrow, Shane has a regular dentist check-up I will be praying for an uneventful visit.

Spam,Idol and field trips

Okay... here's the deal-- earlier this week I got a comment that I believed to be spam--- so after discussing the issue with a fellow blogger, and then trying to delete it and not being successful--

I decided to just monitor all comments---

and since I have such a huge...

and diverse readership...

(you have a title...honored readers-- that's YOU!)

you leave me a comment,

and it's not long as it's not spam...

I'll let it get published... !

I do love you non-spam commenter's !

and now ~ American Idol~
My favorites are...Lil' Rounds,Scott, and Felicia but I also liked Kendall and Ju'not--
and the people who got picked by.... the voting public are Lil' Rounds,Scott and Jorge.
Next week we the viewing masses... will once again have to suffer by seeing and hearing Tatiana... AGH! but we also get to hear from, Von Smith,Jasmine Murray,Ricky Brady,Megan, Matt G.,Jesse and An youp -- I think I spelled some names wrong sorry...

Tomorrow I will be "available" to take over for Shane's coach--- while at the Science Factory field trip, I have a feeling that this will be a huge blog topic tomorrow. I had to call and ask --- to come on the field trip-- that conversation was frustrating for me on so many levels--
I wish I knew what would help me (besides a sludge hammer) when I talk with the teacher, I always want to throw the phone at a wall when I get done "talking" with her. Planning ahead of time is not something that she enjoys, and so she just doesn't--- yahoo for her... sucks for me and Shane...
I talked with the staff person S. and she suggested a picture schedule of the different things that will be happening, and since my printer is working....(thanks to Patty!) I was able to create an un-professional picture schedule of Shane's day.We have gone over it a few times and Shane seems to be very excited to go on this field trip--- I hope that I can stay focused on Shane and his behaviors'... I do hope and pray that I can stay positive!
Friday the kid are both home from school and it's grocery day... (cue the mantra, this will be fun,this will be fun...) Saturday, we have to celebrate from afar--- my nephews' first birthday--I pray that his ear infection goes away soon, and that he isn't sick on his important day!
We have to change our clocks.. oh, joy!(I don't know about you but I delegate this task to my husband who likes numbers and buttons-- me--- not so much!)
Sunday we have a birthday party and church. Maybe, just to make the days go smoother we will attend Saturday evening church instead of Sunday late service. And since the 100 days of school is coming up, Shane has to find 100 things that will fit in a ziplock bag...--
(wouldn't 100 worms be funny????)
Well, anyway--- that's what is up with us... what about you?

Rain,naked boys and Rainbows!

All this week it has been really rainy--

It is nice to sit and type and listen to the rain fall on the skylight in the kitchen.

Because after the rain-- the sunshine and rainbows will come out for a quick view.

This morning Shane was up early in my room complaining about his tummy being upset-- I gave him some tums and let him curl up next to me-- then when the alarm went off I had to do some fast talking to convince Shane that he did in fact have to go to school.
When we got to school Shane was fascinated by a worm that was as long as his shoe... we watched it for a while--- and then I picked it up and put it in the grass. Shane didn't want to calm his body to go into the class, but after a short time he did manage to get focused enough to go into the classroom.
It was later than usual when I got the call to pick up Shane, he had gotten though the day~
but it had been a struggle to stay still--- it was like he knew what his body was doing -- but he couldn't stop it from being busy. I was at the door of the classroom trying to get Shane's homework and finish the conversation with his teacher and the staff. The next thing we know, Shane has tripped or fallen into the grass! He got his butt, and part of his shirt wet and muddy...
He was of course upset, but he wasn't crying or screaming so I tried to keep him moving to the car.-- I was so focused on getting him to the car that I didn't notice his pants were down my his feet... and he had begun to hop to the car... Both his teacher and the staff saw him they turned their heads and were laughing-- All the while Shane was complaining he just wanted to be naked,..mommy naked... ---
He got in the car and quickly stripped naked! I had a warm fleece jacket on that I wrapped Shane up in, just to get him home.

As I think back now it was kind of funny--

I guess I had a rainbow of my own--

Shane got over his cranky attitude and I

-- got flashed by my naked son...