Patience,carrots

Yesterday, God wanted me to learn a lesson-- and when I tried to ignore him-- he just kept giving me more of the lesson. 
ya ~Gotta love the persistence of the Father?
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+7:8&version=NIV  The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3:12&version=NIV  Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+6:12&version=NIV  We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

I went to visit my surgeon -- the one who fixed my foot-- I was expecting to tell him that I did not want a second surgery. But instead, I had to wait, and wait-- then when he did come to see me-- he really didn't talk about the surgery. He asked for xrays of my foot and said, "I want to see you again in a month!" I then waited and waited -- finally the nurse came in and ordered the xrays--. I was allowed to go get the xrays and then make my new appointment. Finally, I left the building-- the original appointment was for 10:45, when I looked at the clock in my car it was 12:10.

Hopefully, I was patient -- hopefully I won't have to learn this lesson again too soon.
Of course, by just writing those words, I should be prepared --huh?

 Let me get my knee pads and get some prayers going!

~~~~~~
So, on another topic-- Shane went overboard last night and ate a ton of carrots-- this morning his bathroom expirence was ... shall we say colored orange?   -- Cue the morning conversation about how much is ENOUGH toliet paper-- and yes your butt is clean and dry here... look in the mirror! ("But, Mom ~the inside doesn't feel clean"--   I said "Shane it's the inside-- don't worry about it-- you are fine.")

Roller coasters and parenting

http://www.ehow.com/how_2330679_overcome-fear-roller-coasters.html

I am finding out that this parenting thing is alot like a roller-coaster ride-- at first glance it looks like fun, but then when you experience a bit more-- you develop a healthy respect for the emotions of fear/joy/ and thrills.
Because both of my kids have had challenges (Jessica medically-- and Shane sensory&behaviors)
 insert thought bubble here:  I aways thought  end thought bubble.
 that I should get a special pass-- either to the front of the line, or at least my own personal assistant.
Good thing reality knows how to pop these bubbles of mine!
If you click on the link at the top of the page and read though the instructions you might be surprised how much of the advise could be about parenting.
1. Remember the Physics-- (It took quite a while for you to "bake that baby"-- or even adopt and then you had to go through labor and also paperwork)
e=mc2 One of Einstein's great insights was to realize that matter and energy are really different forms of the same thing. Matter can be turned into energy, and energy into matter.

The energy we use as parents---

 shows up as the energy that

creates our children into (children that...) matter.!

2. Keep your Eyes open--  Pay attention to the little things, because all too soon those sweet things-- may change.
3. Pretend you are driving the roller-coaster!  Ha... ha ...  we may be the parent but realizing that parenting isn't about us as an individual is a key thing-- me thinks....:)
4. Start with the smaller coasters.  Uh, yeah.... I recommend prayer for this one-- pray that God, knows you well and that his sense of humor is not on overdrive.---  He won't give you more than you can handle, but he sometimes likes to fill your arms with WORK!
5. Just Do it... yup-- there aren't any short cuts to this parenting thing that I have found-- I have searched high and low, I have begged,pleaded -- I have read books, taken classes and even...spent much time in prayer.   We may not always get this parenting thing right-- but we have the ability to try again tomorrow.

So, anyway I had some challenges with my parenting attitude this weekend--
My kids were fighting -- which is not very normal for them--I asked them to STOP, I even used a loud voice and still they were fighting with each other-- finally in an act of desperation I got a small cup of cold water and --- I flung it on them. Jessica stopped the yelling/screeching  that she was doing and began to cry the ugly cry with her eyes getting larger with every tear. Shane stopped pummeling his sister and looked at me like ~ how dare you interrupt me?-- I was ahead of her-- in the game of ouch--.  I think they were both stunned to their cores-- I had never done something so shocking to them before.
But... it worked it got them to stop what they were doing and hear what I had to say. They both got time-outs and both had to apologize-- heck they even both grumbled that I was being mean and unfair-- I figured that there discontent with me .... was proof that I had done something right!.

Shane didn't do well at church-- our new curriculum has a ton of transitions and Shane went into overload mode -- he wouldn't listen-- focus or anything and the staff didn't call me to help -- so Shane was VERY distracting for the whole group of kids.  I didn't find this out until after church was over and I was picking him up.  I can and I want to be:  able to deal with my son-- but after the FACT... is not the best plan.  So, we came home from church and since Shane confessed in the car that he had made some bad choices with his body-- I had him write an apology letter.

A friend of mine that I have known since I was a teen passed away-- I am very sad-- we had re-connected on Face book-- but I had yet to really talk with her about how her life was-- and share with her how my life is.-- The only thing that about this that helps me manage my emotions-- is that she was a faithful follower of the Mormon religion. So, I know that she is in HIS arms.

There was also a death on my father's side of the family-- This Saturday I am going to that funeral at a Catholic church and although I want to go and share in the event-- I get so un-comfortable at catholic events-- I know I don't fit in and it makes me nervous.

Tomorrow we are going to celebrate Jerry and Shane's birthday's --
 at the park with a pinata, a silly string fight and cupcakes.-- I can't wait to see the pictures I will be taking!

And Life...goes on--- up and down and all around. Ya Got yer seat belt on? , ! Buckle UP!

By the way... God does have a sense of humor-- if you check out the video in my next post,  that is one of the worship songs that we sang while at church--  go ahead... call me Undignified!



Post #660 !

I am learning that being 40 doesn't mean that you are a "know it all"
-- it just means that you give the illusion that you might know some stuff...

I have been learning that as much as I want  to get motivated and exercise, it is still too soon for me to be thinking about walking with my Aunt... right now I have to stay focused on using my foot and toes as I have been taught. I have learned that I need to SLOW DOWN and pay attention to how my body feels.
May I just state for the record that I am not good at SLOWING DOWN?

Thank you GOD... for being patient and willing to teach me this lesson again and again -- :)
(Thank you sir... may I have another?)  :)

I am currently reading Who's pulling your strings? by Harriet B. Braiker
 How to Break the cycle of Manipulation and Regain control of your life!

I am also reading No More Meltdowns by Jed Baker PhD
Alot of the things he talks about I know already, but his words are really easy to read--
(There is a little comic on page 57 ... it says "Mommy brought you a lovely elephant and a nice juggler to amuse you, in case you get bored waiting for the food." I laughed for a good while after reading that... It really is AMAZING the stuff I will do to make the social issues less.... of an issue!
 sigh...breathe... sigh

Both of the kids seem to be very happy to be back at school, they are both very happy with their teachers, and Jessica was almost giddy when she got to do homework yesterday!  I was happy to see that the kids had homework also :)


The other night,while in the middle of dinner- Shane came into the living room to complain "Jessica is eating the butter!"-- Jerry asked Shane.... "Well, are you jealous?" Shane replied, "No, I just wanted her to get in trouble!"  {Never a dull moment with these kids... nope, never a dull or quiet moment!}


I am in the middle of doing some sewing for Jessica's teacher from last year-- her teacher is pregnant and so I am sewing some things for her and the baby... Oh, what Joy!

Two people that are near and dear to my heart have been in need of prayer-- my cousins' daughter Ally-- and also my friend Patty who comments here as "Me...."
  Ally seems to be having relationship issues and Patty was in a car accident. --
 If you can --would you please pray for them? Thanks!

It's Friday

School is going well, Shane likes his teacher, as do I--
 Jessica is so happy with her teacher I think she gets mad when school is over, and she has to come home.

I only have two things that are concerning to me--

 I haven't yet had much time with his new SPED teacher to see how well he responds to her directions-- I like her fine-- but it's Shane who will need to decide this.

There is an IA who has been at the school for a long time,  she happens to be older than me-- she is really skilled~ however.  When I come to pick Shane up from school, I give him a little bit of time to calm his body before walking him out-- we try to be quiet when we get his backpack-- but sometimes he is a bit wiggly. This IA will walk by and in her best teacher voice, say Shane show me a 1--.
A one is a calm body and Shane is supposed to attempt to achieve this OFTEN...
As his parent, I want him to be at a one... I want him to be calm,still and polite-- but if I am picking him up and taking him home.... then isn't he under MY direction ?
 and shouldn't all of the requests for behavior change come from me at that point???? 
I am sure that this  IA is not trying....  to make me FEEL like I can't get my son to have a calm body.
If I was less sure of myself as a parent, I would think(and feel)  that she (thinks) feels like she can do a better job with my son.

It's a sticky thing -- and I don't know if it's worth saying something or not... and then if I do decide to say something, who do I approach?  I know that it would be very difficult to speak directly to that IA-- she is very busy, and often there are kids around, I would not want my words to be repeated or misconstrued.

I had such a great relationship with the SPED teacher last year...this would of been a quiet conversation or a private email. -- I would of not felt like I was complaining, but only that I was been heard. ---

I went to the PT yesterday and I got good marks for following through and doing my exercises, (yahooo)
the PT was also nice enough to show me how to move my foot when I walk-- and seeing her move her foot-- I don't think I have ever used my foot the way GOD meant it to be used!   I have exercises to do every day and every evening I ice my foot-- I also need to spend some time scraping off the calluses on the bottom of both of my feet. The PT suggested that I "wean" myself off of the boot -- so this morning, When we were dropping the kids off at school I walked from one end, to the other-- about a block and a half.
I had to walk slow and pay attention to what my foot was doing-- it was a challenge.

I spent some one on one time, yesterday with Shane-- playing mailbox-- he had some old shoe boxes that were the message box and so  I would write a goofy message and then he would come and get the box drag it to where he was a read and answer my message. I tried to make the messages silly, but still something that he would need to read. It was fun to play with him like that and I did manage to get him to write some words--!  I think this may become a regular thing-- he liked moving the box across the floor and I liked seeing him eager to write with the pencil!  Although -- I am sure I will have to change the game a bit as the days go on-- to make it more of a challenge.

I was gone for a few days, and now I'm forty!

So, this week has been busy- Jessica to PDX for her check-up, me to the podiatrist for the "map pins" out-- and released to drive, my 40th birthday on the 1st,Then 1st time with a physical therapist, helping out at the school with the kids, grocery shopping with the kids, tomorrow a birthday party, then church and maybe a BBQ at a lake.

Emotions have been running high lately.... the weather has been warm and I have been alot less patient-- I have also found it tough to actively ignore bad attitudes. My feelings were a bit hurt- and although I kinda knew that would happen-- I was still saddened by the selfishness of other people.

It was  VERY nice to be released to drive, but then when I talked with my PT, she explained that I need to step up my game-- and start using my foot "for real" I have been really reluctant to put my foot to use.  So, now I am trying to follow her instructions and do my exercises every night and every morning, I am also using ice on my foot to help the swelling dissipate.

I am learning that I may be able to drive, but spending all day wandering around on my foot --isn't the best idea.

I am so glad that school starts next week, the kids have been so energetic,talkative, and just FULL of motion-- this Mommy.... needs a break!

Jessica seems to be changing her way of interacting with me, and I'm curious if she is just testing the waters-- or if she is really changing into a mouthy soon to be 10 year old. I am not ready to have such challenges with Jessica... I've got my hands full with Shane...     I may have to call for renforcements!

Getting rid of the yeah-buts

yeah, but...

Do you ever find yourself asking for advise from someone and then saying yeah... but--
I keep getting taught this lesson over and over again--
When we ask for advise, we need to listen with open ears,hearts and minds-- because if we don't then we end up with yeah, buts... and those do not make changes!

I know it's not easy to ask for advise-- and I know that sometimes the thought of other people/parents knowing that something isn't going smoothly is scary.
I really think that if WE want CHANGE,
then we have to be OPEN to hearing a new way of doing things.

I have found that if you ask a professional, or a skilled parent for advise, it won't come quickly-- that person will stop and think before speaking-- I think WE/I as the parent need to STOP, and LISTEN.  Maybe the advise isn't just right, but if you don't try what they suggest..... then the change you wish for ... will not come.


Maybe the lesson is to ask for advise, and be clear about what you wish/want the result to look like.
I think parents need to be flexible and willing,
 but that the kids need to have consistency and structure,
seems kinda like a conundrum to me.

By the way Thank you to all my commenters who give me advise...
I do appreciate each and every one of you--
even when I think in my head... yeah, but   
 I have been TRYING to take your advise,  honest!   :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... The kids, Jerry and I, invited some friends to meet us at the theater for a free movie-- because we got there a bit late--
 Jerry and Shane sat together and Jessica and I sat with our friends-- it was an interesting expirence... I didn't hear Shane's comments the whole movie... but I heard Jessica's laughter--
 I much perfered the laughter~~ maybe sitting apart at a movie theater is a good thing?

We saw Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs... we have seen if before but...it was still FUNNY!

I found that sitting on a blanket is nice, but that getting up (without hurting your foot and toes)-- requires a picnic table.

Garage Sale,Grocery Store Etiquette

Is there such a thing as Garage Sale Etiquette? http://www.drdaveanddee.com/etiquette.html

This is a picture out my front door-- apparently there is a block long garage sale-- happening today!
The street is not very wide so it has been kinda funny to see people and cars try to navigate the small space there is ...  It got me to thinking, if you weren't apart of the block long garage sale-- but you just happened to have stuff on your front yard-- how would people react? Would they just walk into your yard and start picking things up? And then how would you as the homeowner react? Would you run outside yelling and screaming?  What would happen if you were cleaning out the garage and yet people thought your stuff was  apart of the sale?

Garage Sales are such a fluid thing-- they often don't have an official, beginning middle and end.--
{Well at least that is my observation.}-- I would imagine that there are people-(not me)- who will start a sale at 8 am on the dot and stop that sale at 5pm.-- But I really think that doesn't happen very often. 
When you go to a garage sale do you discuss,out loud ~ what you like or don't like do you whisper to your neighbor-- "This price is too high?". 
So, many things about a garage sale are not clearly stated-- should I dicker/bicker about the price? Should I ask to try out the item? Should I even touch the item?

I would imagine that all these questions are much like the questions that plague our SPD kids -- and even our regular kids have -- navigating the "social world"!

I find myself doing a ton of pre-talking before we go somewhere-- lately I haven't been pre-talking too much-- I have a head cold and I am just trying to "get through" life. 

We went grocery shopping yesterday and I forgot to talk with the kids about how I wanted the groceries packed in the bags...  I had a moment of anger and frustration when Jessica was just putting items in...."willy nilly" Shane was just happy to keep pressing the button to move the conveyor belt -- he would take the  items off the belt and then press the button again.

I really think that if I had not been dealing with a head cold I would of managed the situation better-- .
I didn't yell or scream at the kids but I moved them both out of the way and finished the sacking of the groceries all by myself. Later after we were home, I thought about how I had just let a teach-able moment pass -- I could of done a MUCH better job of pre-talking and then showing what I wanted done.

I was annoyed that I let the moment pass-- I was also annoyed that I let others' who seemed to be SUPER impatient motivate me to just do it myself.  

Why do we have to be in a hurry to do everything?? Why can't we just slow down and breathe?
I wonder if these questions are the ones that prevent our SPD kiddos from responding quickly to a request?
Maybe if I slow down my expectations--
 maybe that will allow my children the time they NEED to comply with a request?
anyway.... just thinking... and wishing this head cold would STOP holding me back! .... geez I'm impatient! :)
haha ha

Two, four,six, eight who do YOU appreciate?

2 4 6 8

who (what) do we...appreciate?

• The SPED teacher who sees our son as smart but needing some guidance.
• The OT that realizes how manipulative and yet how very smart Shane is !
• The classroom teacher who, gets that right now Shane needs to be caught being GOOD as often as possible.
• Jessica's teacher who doesn't mind that I constantly forget that it's Thursday-- and I should be in the classroom filing!
• The principal who is very patient with Shane when he says "I lost my mind, that's why I tried to trip the other student!"
• The weather here in Oregon, that often reflects my moods-- hail and then rain, then sunshine, then rain.
• I really appreciate that this year is less emotionally toxic than it was last year!

So, I found some material at Walmart that looks like a checkered flag-- and since Shane thinks that NASCAR and checkered flags are...."cool"

I thought I would see if I can sew up a weighted blanket~

I stopped by the classroom and looked at the blankets that they have for him-- one is quite large--about a yard or so-- and the other is small-- and made out of fleece. I think I am going to try to keep this blanket about 3/4 of a yard square-- so that it is big enough for his lap but also flexible enough to be over the shoulders.

When I stopped by the classroom, the teacher,the IA and the student teacher were having lunch-- The IA mentioned that Shane was not really interested in using the blanket... I have a feeling... that the IA is not invested in "selling" the use of the blanket as a tool to Shane. I sent off an email to the OT, and the SPED teacher to see if they could find a way to deal with this. I know that Shane does enjoy the pressure from the weighted blanket-- but I also know that if he can make things more difficult for the IA-- and get more one on one time then he is going to not...comply when the use of the blanket is suggested! The SPED teacher has used the blanket with him, and he really responded well to it.-- But then he REALLY likes his SPED teacher-- I think he even has a crush on her!

After school today the classroom teacher and I were talking -- she was telling about how Shane will do something and then look around as if to see -- {did anyone catch me doing that?} I kept nodding my head, yup-- he thrives on one on one interaction and he often doesn't mind if the attention is positive or negative-- his goal is attention--

I guess he gets that from his parents'?

After all Jerry LOVES to be the center of attention when he is singing karaoke, or when he sings with the band... I write this blog JUST to get attention from, you...my readers--.

I wonder if 7 is too young for military school?

oh... and by the way- Bye, bye to Sibohan(sp?) on American Idol...

your weird glasses and hair -- not to mention the piercings were a bit too much.,

I like Crystal,Big Mike and Lee--

although there are times when I wanna shout at the TV-

- Crystal just wash your hair already!