Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Speaking to children with Grace

I love my kids...
But there are times when I want to pull my hair and scream, I have however realized that hair pulling and screams will not solve the problem.
Because Jessica was a preemie we received Early Intervention Services, and along with that we were able to take parenting classes-- some were free and there were even a few that we paid to take more than once, since we enjoyed the class so much! (there was excellent childcare on site and Awesome snacks!-- yahoo,,,)
anyway... Both my husband and I wanted to do better than we had seen growing up , and so we both made a choice to do our best, and if that wasn't working...then we decided to be willing to try something else.
(That can be tough... you know the quick answer is a swat on the hand...but often the best answer is a re-direct and then a social story or a lesson, about good choices, bad choices)
We have learned that how we talk to our kids matters, and the tone of voice, whether we are on their level or above them matters... we have also learned that the volume, and cadence of our speech matters-- another key thing for us, is the amount of words used-- LESS is MORE~
All that being said, please choose carefully the words you say--- if you don't want them to scream in the shower, while at the pool, then tell them what they can do... "you can drink the water...(ewwww) but you can not scream, while in the shower..."(maybe that was a bad example..but you get the point...)
I overheard myself talking to Jessica -- and I had to stop and ask for an apology-- My words and tone were negatively affecting what I wanted to say. The topic was simply brushing her teeth, and then need to do better-- but my words were so harsh that the teaching moment was lost.--
Thankfully, children are resilient and
I don't believe permanent hard was done...
but I wonder how many parent's do stop to think -
-- about how the words I say have power,
how can I say this well and with GRACE?
on another quick note, Shane finished his testing with the psychologist... and he was VERY impressed with Shane, so many of the skills that Shane has are above the benchmark for his age, and only a few of his skills are somewhat lacking... I am very hopeful for next year, a new teacher, a new principal, a new plan... and a POSITIVE future!
I got Shane's stuff from the school without seeing the teacher -- yay!
and here is a story he wrote...
Jamie Foxx the elephant went bowling and kept getting a strike on the pins. He actually won money for doing it and then he wondered "What should I do with all that money?"When he went to sleep that night he was dreaming that he had a motorcycle and that he was human so when he woke up he went and bought a motorcycle but it wasn't so easy to ride it for an elephant and that is the end of the story--
that is all I've got...


Childlife said...

I LOVE Shane's story! :D Such a clever little guy -- I love that it had a moral and everything -- LOL!

Anonymous said...

A clever story indeed!

Not surprised and congratulate you on the good and comforting results of the psychological testing! - Probably had something to do with your efforts at communicating with your children(!). Well done, Stacey!


Three Loud Monkeys said...

Fabulous motherly wisdom and advice. Thanks for sharing!

HennHouse said...

Yes. Thanks for sharing.