Thursday, January 29, 2009

Details = Get 'er done?

This meeting was informative --- and detailed !
We all worked with the Shane's schedule to tweak it so it will work effectively for Shane and also the classroom.
  • take tangible rewards away and instead use positive specific praise--- I totally agree with this --- I was really getting overwhelmed with the "stuff " that Shane wanted to "get" ---
  • My goal is to have Shane understand that his behavior affects-other's and his job is to be appropriate and thus-- he would get positive feedback.!!!!!!
  • They are going to try to make the time in the sensory area a regular thing
  • At the very end of the meeting we talked about time-outs-It was suggested that two things at home (battleship game and music) (I do agree with this) would be taken away if he hits while at school,and then has to come home.
  • As a part of the red card Shane would be reminded that if he continues to make a bad choice, then there are consequences.
  • I really think that Shane will gain more, by pre-talking about appropriate behavior -- as opposed to adding another consequence at home for a behavior that is mainly happening at school. (The school counsler wanted me to impose another task at home--for Shane not completing a time out)

I am struggling with how to communicate effectively with the teacher ~often when we talk she wants to be super detailed about what he did to who and when---which I perceive as negative input and she always wants to talk about he did it for no reason.... AGH!...

It feels like she wants to blame me for all of Shane's bad behavior and she wants to take credit for all his good. Geez... I don't need or want to argue and have a power struggle with the teacher, my one and only goal is to get Shane back on track to succesfull appropriate behavior. Preferably with no hitting or hurting and with much more positive interactions.

I know that Shane is not behaving,and in fact he is at times combative and violent, but I also know that this is mainly happening at school, not very much at home--

I cannot control his behavior at school. I can and I will continue to talk about what is appropriate, but only Shane is in control of his body.

How I wish this First Steps would of started at the beginning of school, so that we wouldn't be where we are now... (At the beginning of school I wrote up a letter that had alot of how best to deal with Shane ideas, and most of them are very close to what First Steps looks like--- bummer it took 6 months and all this staff and resources to get 'er done!)

I hate to worry about the future, but I am nervous that the teacher may not be as clear with her directions with Shane and that will cause a decrease in his good behaviors.

Some of the phrases at home that seem to be working are: Show me calm and still, show me listening--- Shane you have two ears and one mouth--- he needs to use his ears more, and then use appropriate words when he is frustrated and upset.

Thanks for listening to be whine and complain!

I know that Shane is a good sweet kid underneath all the stuff..!

I also found out that the kids don't have school tomorrow and they are also off on Monday---

AAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKK --- I will have to make up some stuff to do...


time to find the homeschool stuff, maybe I'll make a game out of picking up their rooms...

Or maybe, I just take them outside and chase them around the trees!

Shane has been so very sweet while at home today, he even shared two cookies with me!

He seems to be sweeter and more willing to ask for help, he also seems to be listening more, I think it might be the medication? ah, well whatever it is I plan on keeping this new sweeter boy on that same path!


Kristi said...

I loved your sentence where you said "I know that Shane is a sweet kid inside" It's wonderful that you are staying focussed on the blessings of him. When I was struggling with Noah, I bought a book called "Delight In Your Child's Design" and it helped a lot, just remembering to appreciate my boys for their uniqueness, rather than feel bad that they were different.

Anonymous said...

"I know that Shane is a sweet kid inside."

"Thanks for listening to be whine and complain!"

I know that you are a great Mom inside. chkl. And, you have a wonderful sense of humor.

Thanks for sharing your humor and your struggles online. We are all learning from your problem-solving. Even us PhDs. lol. Barbara

hennhouse said...

I agree with Barbara--you may feel like you're whining and complaining, but we all learn from being in this community together.