Monday, April 5, 2010

Our version of Manic Monday?

Our Monday, well ~ I guess I could go with the song from the Bangles and call it Manic Monday.

Jerry was off today, and so while I was dropping off the kite that I repaired for our speech teacher--
     Jerry followed the kids down the hallway to their classrooms. Shane was twitchy and crashing into walls--
When Shane got into the classroom he was full of energy--
 From 7:40 to 9:15~ He did receive 11 green points, but he also received 8 red points-- along with a time out and a detention.
Between 9:55 and 12:30 he received 18 green points and 5 red points.
The goal is to get 15 green points during the first time period, and then 20 green points and very few or no red points, during the second time period.
(When he gets the red points it is for not following the request or redirection)
I was working on cleaning my house when I got the phone call from the principal~ :(

Apparently Shane got upset about something and then flung hand sanitizer on other kids, along with his IA-- he also attempted to throw chairs around.   I also found out that he made a water mess with the new faucet.

Figuring out consequences for Shane at home  is a challenge--
of course the video games will not be played this week, -- but he has to earn those anyway.
he doesn't really have a favorite toy... unless his sister Jessica qualifies for this title..?
Jerry and I went to the school to talk with the special Ed teacher and see if she had any suggestions---
While we were there talking -- his regular classroom teacher came in and we all had a short meeting.
Because all of us are very aware of how smart Shane is -- we all wanted to have the same game plan--.
 I mentioned to his teacher that I was a bit disappointed in his lack of willingness to do a better job behaving. -- We all agreed that his academics are fine-- and his reading is great.--
 But that ever elusive good behavior--
 ah,  that still needs some serious work.  
We talked about having a jar to fill at home and if he is good at school he could receive up to 5 things to put in the jar-- all contingent on his behavior at school. And then when he is at home he could earn more things in the jar-- after the jar is filled or to a certain line a reward is given.  I know... from watching Supernanny and also reading parenting books that I should not take away items from the jar, but instead  use the phrase   will that behavior gain you a item in your jar? Make a good choice, the more items in the jar the quicker you get your reward.  That way the focus is on the positive and not the negative.
The staff are going to have an informal meeting, on Wednesday,  to talk about how to change or tweak his day to make it more productive and also work on helping his behavior be more consistent. 
(We will be busy doing a home study for a survey that Shane is apart of thru Early Steps-- we even get paid for our time!)
When he is in a small group or a one on one setting with mainly adults he does very well-- but when he is in a regular classroom he struggles to control his mouth and his body.  Because Shane is very good at using his extensive vocabulary ... his rants/logic?-- or arguments --are sometimes stunning to hear.
If you would of given me treats for Easter then this wouldn't of happened.
You are the reason that I can't control my body.
You are being disrespectful by not letting me talk.
So,what you want me to never have a good day?
I just want to die, I can't make my body stay in control.

It is tough to talk to Shane in a way that helps him feel valued and yet doesn't decrease his already low self-esteem.  I am never sure that my responses to his comments are helpful. Sometimes I know that he is clearly just trying to get me to engage in more conversation with him, but sometimes I am not sure how to respond.
He is such a smart, and manipulative child. 

I am left wishing I would of taken debate classes.
any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

(Jessica is soooo cute in that photo below!)

Since you asked...and despite getting disparaged elsewhere for my suggestions....if you don't like what I say, well, just delete this, please.

I'm a behavior-management-parent from way back. But for really bright children, behavior management techniques have earlier limits. Keeping score with colored beads is for the child who wants to earn them.

Indeed, the motivators get harder to find as children actually mature. I believe a child's self-esteem develops within accomplishment - more than what is said to them. I read a really good book on that - click on books in my category cloud to find it.

He sounds like he feels he cannot control himself.

So my mind goes to more physical issues. Diet, medication, exercise. ? All up-to-date?

Can you park the car 2-blocks from school and walk there? Walking is good for most everyone.

Is the ideal of inclusion more important than a child progressing in school? Sometimes I wonder. Barbara

Anonymous said...

I thought this post was good - esp the end.

Heather B said...

My little guy could be the lead of the debate team! I also don't know how to respond to him sometimes. I swear that boy could talk the Pope out of holy water! So I do feel your pain but unfortunately don't have any suggestions. I struggle with this myself...