Friday, March 26, 2010

Our version of Normal...

So, Shane, Jessica and I went to visit the developmental pediatrician today--
Shane and Jessica LOVE going there-- the Dr. has great toys... :) and she never pokes you for shots!  
This toy was magnetic ... and Shane created this-- he said it was his version of a church and then when it was time to leave and break it down, he said "I'm the devil and I'm breaking down the church"
I'd say those were pretty profound words for a 1st grader!

This visit was just a check-up visit... we talked about how Shane is doing at school and at home ... I even had the Dr. look at the rash on Shane's chest... and back-- she felt that it was a contact rash...
maybe the dog irritated Shane's skin... or maybe it was the laundry soap--  It hasn't gotten any worse and there are no new symptoms to report -- so we are taking a wait and see attitude about it.
The Dr asked  how things were going and I explained that things were mostly fine... she was very happy to hear that Shane seems to be learning how to self-manage his behaviors.
We talked about taking Shane off of his medication during the summer to see how he does--
Both Jerry and I have not been eager to have Shane on meds,
(although they have helped)  
so hearing that this summer would be a test run without meds-- sounds fine to me.
(feel free to remind me that I said this during the summer... :) )
The Dr and I talked about the things that I use to help Shane when we have to wait in line,
 or during transition's...
  1. pipe cleaners...different colors,different sizes
  2. sugarless gum or Tic Tac's
  3. window clings
  4. tinfoil.... (this is a new suggestion from,my FB friend Nicole!thanks!)
  5. handheld games.. we have a math one from our book fair.
So, anyway it was nice to visit a Dr, have a good visit and then leave feeling like,
Shane is just his version of normal! 
Simple, and yet priceless Joy!
I am learning that our family is not perfect, 
 no ...really we aren't PERFECT! huh...? who would of thunk it? :)
 my personal Dr. wants me to loose weight, by making two lifestyle changes, I need to be more motivated to follow through with exercising and cutting back on portions. I am hoping that the Spring weather will help me stay focused on getting healthy.  Often when the kids are arguing I tell them to be kind to each other-- I tell the kids that we only have one Jessica and or one Shane-- we need to treat her with love and kindness--I think I might need to ask the kids to say this to me... Mommy needs praise and encouragement also!  
I hope that I can get the tape in my head changed to a postitive message...
 It's not the first step that is the hardest but it's the steps in the middle -- when the end is not yet in sight.
But, even as I type this I think that maybe it's not a race or an event,
it's a whole new way of looking at things-
It's funny to me how things with the kids aften mirror things with myself...
 I want the public to see my son as his version of normal and I want the public to understand that he is still learning to be skilled at self managing his behaviors.
Now, I need to apply that thinking to myself, and getting healthy, I need to NOT expect perfection-- I need to just stay motivated and focused on the task--
The small steps I take will keep me on a path to a better me...
See, don't I sound positive and focused? ...
I am sure I will make mistakes... but isn't that what life is all about ?
Learning how to learn life lessons the FIRST time?
So, if you are willing? 
 I would love to hear your input...
postive is good, but honesty-with love is also welcome!


Anonymous said...

Hey Stace! I love you! I gotta say this though....some people think that when they grow up (often we tell our kids this) they will have a family of their own and beautiful children to raise. Now that my children are grown and I have had the pleasure of watching you with yours as well as my brothers I have come to this realization. When we have kids (most of us) grow up in that process. I think that is when we really truly realize that we need to or that the process of being a parent is how we grow up. I don't think anyone really grows up and then says hey let's have kids. Though one of my brothers and his wife thought that and they planned so well ahead I am so very impressed. Though with all that planning I still feel they did not really grow up until they had those beautiful children. Stacey I am so very proud of you and I have to remind you of this. Please don't grow up too much because I'm just starting to enjoy not having to be so much of a grown up now and I need you to play with. Me

Heather B said...

"his version of normal".... Wow are those ever powerful words. I suspect that applies to all of us. We each have our own version of normal. And that version is perfection for each of us. You will try to lose weight and you're right, you will likely lose your way at some point. But, no matter what, through it all you will be your version of normal.
Good luck this summer with the medication changes. I'll be here with virtual hugs if you need them.

TheRextras said...

I really enjoyed reading this post. Shane is doing very well! Take some credit, Mom! (Yea, I know Dad helped.)

Speaking of which, I just.can't.comment on the top post.

But (one t) if you willing to think outside the tank (toilet), could Shane have his own 'special' t paper? All separate and everything. Like, a package of moistened wipes and his own container (dyper pale).

(We never had this conversation.)