Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Just one of "those" days ~

Life is not always easy...nor is parenting-- :)

Just when you think you are knowledgeable about your kids, they either change their behaviors or-- your skills become obsolete!    Heck of a learning curb/curve if you ask me!

Today there was an Assembly at school, and Shane had a sub-- who is REALLY great with him-- she knows his regular teacher and so Shane doesn't have a chance to be a "pill" --- cause there are too many eyes on him... hehehehe! ahem 
 I was at the school to do some filing for Jessica's teacher, I overheard Shane with his IA, (Instructional Assistant) Shane was very adamant that he WOULD not be going to the Assembly, his IA was trying to convince him that he needed to try, -- I heard his tone of voice and I just knew that he was not going to be able to manage the Assembly.   I waited till they were past me in the hallway and then I tried to walk by them without Shane noticing--- I didn't want to be a distraction that ruined anything his IA had talked Shane into. (It doesn't feel good to avoid your child at school, but I knew that if he saw me the wrong time that might just set him up to make more negative comments.) 
Shane looked up just as I was walking by, he gave me a half-hearted hug and then went the other way with his IA... the look on his face was like he wasn't really there-- his eyes weren't there normal color and his smile didn't have the same brilliance.  It makes me sad to see my son with that look on his face, I think he doesn't even know that he's not connected to his body, and yet it's like he wants to ... just break-through the veil.
I went to the Assembly and watched the other kids get good behavior awards~
 (4 or 5 awards per each classroom),
I clapped and smiled, but there was that part of my heart that was torn-- Shane tries so hard ALL the time, and yet his behavior is not yet ....seen as typical-- he gets a TON of support in the classroom and he is doing relatively well academically-- {with the exception of handwriting}  but because he is not yet an expert at managing his SPD--he is still squirmy and wiggly...
Shane has been asking and asking to have a play-date with a few of the different boys at school-- I have been reluctant to say yes-- I know from experience how quickly Shane can meltdown and I know how his meltdown can have affects hours and sometimes days later.
 I finally overcame my terror, and we planned today...  to finally have the play-date.
I didn't want to leave Shane alone, but after talking with my neighbor-- who is a great sounding board, and talking with the Dad, about how to call if Shane starts to get twitchy... I finally decided that I needed to just let Shane do this. ---
Can I just say I was ...really ....really sweating this decision! 
It was so helpful that I could go back over to my neighbors' house and try to keep busy talking with her, all the while watching the clock tick by.... I think that might of been one of the longest hours... EVER!
Finally it was time to go get Shane, Jessica wanted to stay where she was so -- I went by myself, and even though it took about 40 minutes to leave-- between Shane taking off and on his shoes, finding his socks, getting a loaner toy to transition to, and me ... talking this poor father's ear off about how our family is "just different."  
 I am SURE that I said too much, but on the other hand, I would rather the Father possibly understand why we are like we... "are" -- than think that we are a bunch of wacko's! ...
 Hey, are we a bunch of wacko's...anyway? nah... I hope not!

I have been trying new recipe's for dinner this week, tonight the kids gave me the thumbs down...last night wasn't much better...    (Last night was breaded pork-chops that were soaked in OJ and then breaded-- along with some Parmesan couscous-- they liked the flavor of the couscous-- but the texture wasn't appealing)
 I was hoping to have a home run with one of the dinners-- ah, well at least I know my husband and I will have some happy taste-buds! This evening we had Maple-pecan  pork-chops--

I guess I have been cooking the bland food that the kids like so much that now they are not interested in food with new flavors!  grrrrr. ...

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the week, I hope that Jerry and I can keep the kids busy this weekend.  Jerry wants to take the kids bowling.... I hope this is a good idea!


Kristi said...

I have had similar questions about play dates for Noah. I worry about how he's doing when I am not nearby with watchful eyes.

Heather said...

Hey Stacey, thanks for the encouraging words. Sounds like we're experiencing similar emotions, if not situations. Hang in there!

Love the look of your blog design. So very light and fresh...just what we need for spring!