I hate it -- but I love it...
When Jessica was born I had to learn all about being the mom of a preemie-- I had to learn about how to navigate the medical jargon, I had to learn just how precious the caring staff could be, I had to learn how to follow my Mom's instinct and -- sometimes I had to voice my opinion.
I remember I felt like I had been left off on a deserted island... like the people in LOST.
I kept wishin and hoping that I could have someone to call who had been there-- done that ...
The nurses, staff and the social workers helped--
but none could really answer my difficult questions--
How long will this last?
Will she be normal?
How am I going to get used to this ..."feeling" ?
Then when we found out about the E coli, the Dr's kept saying,
"Well she's a case study of one--- We don't know for sure if her kidney's were ever normal-- and really we don't know if her normal is strong enough."
So, when Shane was born and his behavior as an infant was not -- even in my experience "typical--"
I felt like I deserved a T-shirt... been there done that... I knew who to call -- or at least I knew what agencies to start by calling.
Other mom's that I met thru my circle of friends would often call me for help
-- I enjoy helping when I can, but this was very weird for me--
I was learning how to just be ...a mom-- and yet I was instead, this person with information.
I finally decided that I could just go ahead... and give help when I could ~
I still get phone calls -- I need help -- who do I call and how do I ask for what I need.
This weekend the kids and I went down to the school to ..."play" tennis, while we were there Shane-- proceeded to tell another little boy...
all about his "skateboard shoes, and how his wii is just the best thing EVER...."
I found myself talking to the mom and the next thing I know I am talking about the school and how it's great this year-- I go on and on... about how EEP (the pre-school) is just over there in that building; I talk about how you can call EC Cares and get your child tested -- all of this is a bit much-- now that I think back I hope I didn't freak out that mom... I am not sure that I sounded like a "sweet" passionate mom...
I may of sounded like highly skilled Mom on a Mission to convert all to MY WAY OF THINKING!
So, I guess I ended up this weekend hating that I knew all this,
STUFF-- and yet Loving it that I knew where to get information--
- and still I am not done with my search for how best to not to pull my hair out~
- or how to navigate the web to find what I need quickly-- rather than sifting thru a ton of sites...
So, anyway-- that was our weekend!
prayers for HennHouse,Travis and family,Sally Jo in China, and Haiti