Thursday, July 21, 2011

Understanding others

The kids and I have been doing the FREE Lunch at the local park.  
When Shane was little this was SO hard for us... he hated...HATED to wait in line, and getting him to eat the food was such work... (he wanted me to eat it first-- and the rules do not allow parents to eat the food ). Not to mention the time when-- he got "lost" for a while. With the help of a mom who has 5 great kids... we found Shane... across the park, waiting by the car!
 I always tried to use the trips to the park as a part of his and (my) summertime learning...  This year things have been better than ever-- I know that part of that is because he is older and part is from the GREAT work of his teachers at school.
While at the park, -- the kids sit on the blanket and eat I sit  in a camping chair...getting up and down off of the ground can be a chore! ... anyway... some of the like minded mom's and I sit altogether.  Each year I find myself talking about Shane and Jessica with these mom's and giving them some insight into why I do what I do...  {They have seen me get up and go tell older kids to quit bullying -- they have seen me, pick Shane up and just leave)
One mom -- has 5 kids... she is AMAZING.... all of her kids seem to be either high achieving or typical.   Each year she has seen me interacting with my kids.
Yesterday -- we saw (I assume) a mom with her two boys-- one was a teen about 16 or so and the other was about 7 or 8-- The elder boy had been told to go get his younger brother, -- the teen came back with the younger brother's shirt in hand...   The mother's and I were all surprised about seeing this... in their eyes this wasn't good behavior-- and certainly not in public.   I spook up and said very quietly I bet he's autistic-- the other mom who has 5 kids said... so he's holding the shirt -- because the boy can't handle the touch... I nodded.  
 It was so NICE to see that she understood why parents.... and family members have to deal with a child in a different manner than other kids.    
When she made that comment there was NO judgement... there was understanding and consideration.
 The mom of the two boys stepped in and spoke quietly with both the boys.. she changed the hold that was keeping the young son safe and calm-- then she also spoke with the teen and asked him to back off a bit.  
 I wanted to go after the mom and give her a high five or a hug... but I knew that she was in the middle of bringing her youngest back to a "normal" state and that she didn't need an interruption at that time.
  I can't be at the park today -- but if I see her again, I'll be sure to give her some positive comments about her skilled parenting!
It was a JOY  to see good skills -- and to see them respected and understood.
YAY to that mom ! and YAY to mom who saw and understood-- without JUDGEMENT! :)


Anonymous said...

You are so awesome for recognizing all of that Stace! I love you and you and the kids have come a long long ways...! You are such a great mommy and friend. I have tears in my eyes lady. I always felt like people did not understand and still do not with my son and Aaron is now 25. Even his sister and other family don't get "it" though I have tried so very hard. And these days I'm not sure my son thinks that I get it. I hope that some day he realizes just how much I do. It is so very hard to let go of your children even as they become adults especially when you see them struggling with all of "that". I'm not sure that he gets it if you know what I mean. Either way Stace I love you and I hope that people will look at whatever others are doing and try to "understand" where they come from and who they are without too much judgment. It is so easy to jump to conclusions without fully getting the entire picture. Thank you Stacey. I love you. Me

Lucy said...

Hey Stace! That's such a amazing blog.I just think its so touching and everyone should read it.Love it so much.:)
Come check my blog out
(I'm sure your kids will love it)
Refer me to others if you want