At the beginning of the summer I thought that taking Shane off of his medication was a good thing, but now that he has been off his medication for quite a while I am beginning to see that maybe I was mistaken.
Here's a little background.... Shane had a really tough time when he was in kindergarten, (he did not yet meet the requirements for an IEP) the teacher and I did not see eye to eye, and Shane was not impressed with her lack of consistency and follow thru. Part way through his kindergarten year we visited a developmental pediatrician -- she felt like we did-- that Shane needed more structure, and that if things weren't being managed in a consistent way-- at home, at school, at church...etc then his behavior was going to be combative,disruptive, and aggressive-- almost violent. Some of the things he was saying were really dis concerning also-- I just want to die, that teacher should be dead.-- We ended up after much discussion, putting him on the lowest dose of Risperdol. It took a few weeks to really see a difference, but Shane finally seemed to be able to pull out of a meltdown. It was like the medication took the rough edges off of Shane's worse behaviors.
Shane made some great progress last year, he wasn't as combative and aggressive -- I really thought that this was because he had teachers that saw him as he is... a very smart kid, who just happened to have SPD.
Just the other day, Jessica had been gone for the day on a play date, and Jerry and Shane had been to the BMX track... I was going to go with them... and take some pictures but Shane wanted alone time with Jerry.. So, I stayed home. --- After the boys got home I was in the house talking with Jerry I popped my head outside to check on Shane... I hear a HUGE screeching sound... Shane was running his matchbox car all over and around the KIA.... there were many, many scratches all the way around the KIA.
(About two days ago I had re-reminded Shane that he is not to touch my KIA... with Anything... he has in the past tried to "wash" it with a scrubby sponge from the kitchen ! ACk!) I am not picky about my car-- it goes without a wash VERY often... however Shane knows not to touch it and he completely disregarded my rule.
Then, just last night Shane had a tough time being upright (off the floor) and calm while in the Fabric Store-- I attempted to get him outside to see if I could get him to work out of his meltdown-- I was unsuccessful.-- He ended the meltdown by telling me that he just didn't want a mommy anymore and that I could just go and die.
Although I knew his words were just --- part of the meltdown -- it was enough for me to realize that maybe the medication does have a purpose for Shane, and our family.
After Shane had calmed down I sat down to talk with him, I explained about how he used to use medicine and now he was having a much harder time being..."good"-- I asked him if his body felt different-- I asked him to tell me what he thought-- He really wasn't able to express himself-- I told Shane that Jerry, Jessica and I take medication-- he nodded his head and then said, "But mom, your medicine is for your body not for your behavior." I went on to explain that his medicine just helps his brain work better-- and that the medicine that Jerry, Jessica and I take is to help parts of our bodies work better. Finally, I asked him if he wanted to try taking the medication again-- and he seemed to agree.
I know that things at home during the summer are WAY different than when he is at school-- but I also know that I am seeing a change in Shane that makes me scared of him.... It's like his emotions, and his behaviors are untamed--.
Jerry and I talked and I will call on Monday to see if we can get Shane back on his medication-- If we wait too much longer, then he could start school with these un-manageable behaviors. I don't want to put his new, lovely, sweet teacher in the position of defense-- I would like the teacher to feel like Shane is... a sweet,smart lovable boy that ~ just happens to have SPD.
I would love some feedback from my followers and commenters.... :)